*RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby PensFanInDC on Fri Aug 15, 2014 11:58 am

SUPERSTAR: Mick Foley
CARD & MATCH: King of the Ring vs. Big Show (KotR Challenge)
POST: Opening


Fade in on Mankind sitting in his boiler room staring into the camera. Mr Socko sits nearby.

"King of the Ring. I'd like to say that I have fond memories of this event but my MIND is a little fuzzy. After falling 25 feet off a steel cage through a table and falling 20 feet THROUGH a steel cage onto the mat the MEMORIES just don't seem to be there."

Image



"It doesn't matter though. See, no matter what is thrown at me I NEVER give up. You think a 9 foot tall, 700lb FREAK scares me? <laughs> Nothing scares me. I HAVE BEEN THROUGH HELL AND LIVED TO TELL THE TALE! The Big Show thinks he can keep me from my destiny, from MANKIND'S destiny? <laughs> NOTHING can keep me from my place as #1 contender for WWE Heavyweight Champion!"

enter Cactus Jack

CJ: Mankind! Nice to see you!
MK: <looks around confused> How...how did you get here?
CJ: I just followed the smell of rotting socks and cheetos.
MK: That makes sense.
CJ: Listen, Mankind, I was thinking for this KotR match maybe we should....<whispers into Mankind's ear>

fade out
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby count2infinity on Fri Aug 15, 2014 1:27 pm

SUPERSTAR: The Big Show
CARD & MATCH: King of The Ring vs. Mick Foley
POST: Response

PensFanInDC wrote:SUPERSTAR: Mick Foley
CARD & MATCH: King of the Ring vs. Big Show (KotR Challenge)
POST: Opening


Fade in on Mankind sitting in his boiler room staring into the camera. Mr Socko sits nearby.

"King of the Ring. I'd like to say that I have fond memories of this event but my MIND is a little fuzzy. After falling 25 feet off a steel cage through a table and falling 20 feet THROUGH a steel cage onto the mat the MEMORIES just don't seem to be there."

Image



"It doesn't matter though. See, no matter what is thrown at me I NEVER give up. You think a 9 foot tall, 700lb FREAK scares me? <laughs> Nothing scares me. I HAVE BEEN THROUGH HELL AND LIVED TO TELL THE TALE! The Big Show thinks he can keep me from my destiny, from MANKIND'S destiny? <laughs> NOTHING can keep me from my place as #1 contender for WWE Heavyweight Champion!"

enter Cactus Jack

CJ: Mankind! Nice to see you!
MK: <looks around confused> How...how did you get here?
CJ: I just followed the smell of rotting socks and cheetos.
MK: That makes sense.
CJ: Listen, Mankind, I was thinking for this KotR match maybe we should....<whispers into Mankind's ear>

fade out




Big Show walks down to the ring and grabs a mic

Dude Love! Let's not pretend that the man behind the mask or the BANG BANG guy is truly who you are... Let's face the facts! You're truly just the brutish side of that gay couple that lives down the street selling handmade soap, you hippie. What do they call that type of person? Bears or something like that? You say you'll never quit? You're the ultimate grinder? I think you're just trying to tell everyone you're the ultimate on grindr.

This entire match is a joke! How is it that The Rock and Jericho get an automatic bid to the championship and here I am having to beat down, this fool... BEAT DOWN, NOT BEAT OFF, YOU FREAK. You're not even worth my time, Dude Love. I'm here to be the world champion, and just look at me! 7 foot tall, 425 pounds. There's no one here that can physically compete with me! Especially some 6'2" 100 pounds of muscle, 150 pounds of flab moron like Dude Love. You may have fallen 25 feet, but the fall from 7 feet will be much, MUCH more devastating. After I knock this idiot out, I want my shot at the belt!

Drops the mic and walks back up the ramp to his theme song.
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby the errey i breathe on Fri Aug 15, 2014 3:28 pm

canaan wrote:SUPERSTAR: Triple H
CARD & MATCH: King of the Ring vs. Edge (KotR Challenge)
POST: Opening

The Titantron blares inside an empty Gund Arena in Cleveland, Ohio. A single spotlight shines in the middle of the ring where Triple H's 1997 KotR throne sits


King of The Ring HHH Theme - King of Kings (Motorhead)
Spoiler:


Triple H stands in front of the throne, his helm is then removed as he stares into the camera.

Spoiler:
Image


Triple H: This entertainment business (he scoffs) is about leaving a worthwhile legacy, Edge.

He turns and looks at the throne

Triple H: We as gladiators in this modern coliseum pride ourselves on being the best at what we do, while staying true to who we are. At the twilight of our careers, we can look back and say that we were truly one of the greats of our generation. That being said, I dont know why ive been saying "We." You see, Edge, back before you were playing twilight cosplays and Raven ripoffs with Gangrel and Christian, I was digging, with both hands, into the dirt that would be the foundation for my legacy. Back before you were running through crowds with your red lights flashing, I was cutting my teeth with the workhorses of the business like The Ultimate Warrior and Steven Regal. Learning to rely on strength, versatility, and to have the confidence to be the upper crust; the blueblood amongst blue collars; the elite. Men that have showed me what it means to grind and when to be flashy. A time and a place. A balance. But always fall back on your strength and ability.

Triple H turns and walks to the throne and sits down

Triple H: Now Edge, you may say that this is living in the past, but lets fast forward. 6 WWE Championships later to be exact. 5 World Heavyweight Championships later to be exact. 4 Intercontinental, 1 Tag, and 2 European Championships to be exact. All while battling the titans of our age. The Rock, Chris Jericho, Goldberg, Shawn Michaels, Mankind. You see where Im going with this? This isnt about re-hashing old times, but enlightening you of the resume that i've built over 17 years in the WWE. When I look back, i dont remember who I defeated in the first round of the 1997 KotR. And I certainly wont remember who I defeated in the first round of the 2014 KotR. But none of this matters, Edge. Your 2001 KotR means as much as my 1997 one. Our legacies will be marked by what we as individuals do from here on out and on Tuesday, mine will continue to grow as yours will continue to be cemented as "A pretty good tag wrestler, but just didnt have enough grit to be considered one of the elite singles wrestlers."

Triple gets up from his seat as the camera zooms in tight to his face

Triple H: Edge, this game of thrones will be concluded on Tuesday and the back and forth will be laid to rest. Ill be waiting for you. Ill be ready to play the game. Will you?

Motorhead's HHH Theme "Its time to play the game" blares as the HHH stares into the camera and it fades to black


SUPERSTAR: Edge
CARD & MATCH: King of The Ring Challenge vs Triple H
POST: Response



Edge stands next to an empty chair in the center of the ring

Edge: Welcome to the "Cutting Edge." Tonight, I was supposed to have a very special guest. A guest who prides himself on his "legacy." You all know him as Triple H. Sadly Triple H could not be here tonight as he is too busy attending corporate meetings with Vince. You see, HHH likes to focus on his legacy and what a legacy it is. Kissing the ass of every McMahon to the tune of 23 Championships, which would be impressive if they weren't handed to him on a silver platter. I've got to say, it seems as though marrying the boss's daughter certainly has its privileges.

Image


Edge: Unfortunately, age and that time out of the ring spent in boardrooms has fuzzied his memory a bit. He can't remember who he faced in his title matches because they happened so long ago. You see I remember each and every one of my championships. I remember November 23, 2008 in Boston. You should remember that night too Triple H. You were there. It was Survivor Series and you stood in the ring with me and Victor Kozlov. That was also the last time you held the WWE Championship. Now given your memory issues you probably don't remember exactly what happened but allow me to refresh your memory.

Points to Titantron



Edge: That was me taking your title Triple H. And you haven't sniffed it since.

Image

Edge: Triple H you questioned MY legacy, a legacy that includes 31 Championships in this company, 8 more than you and the McMahons were able to cobble together. Each and every one fought for, earned and remembered. Don't worry though, its not just your memory of your titles that is going. These fans don't remember either.

Image

Edge:Triple H, as you know I am an opportunist, a predator, and this King of The Ring is an opportunity for me to be the number one contender and regain my place at the top of the company. On Tuesday you will get to experience the grit you say I'm lacking. The grit that made me an 11-time World Champion in this company. The grit that will send you back to the beginning, picking up the pieces of your legacy in the dirt it started from.

Image

drops mic, walks out of the ring
Last edited by the errey i breathe on Fri Aug 15, 2014 6:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby canaan on Fri Aug 15, 2014 3:58 pm

pretty sure that rebuttals are in round 2, ya?
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby DocEmrick on Fri Aug 15, 2014 4:11 pm

Yeah technically it's a response.
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby the errey i breathe on Fri Aug 15, 2014 5:11 pm

DocEmrick wrote:Yeah technically it's a response.

Should I edit that? My fault, I wasn't sure what the actual term we should be posting under should be.
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby columbia on Fri Aug 15, 2014 5:13 pm

the errey i breathe wrote:
DocEmrick wrote:Yeah technically it's a response.

Should I edit that? My fault, I wasn't sure what the actual term we should be posting under should be.


I think editing - in this very specific case - would be acceptable. It will be easier to follow (for all) if yinz are using consistent language.
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby DocEmrick on Fri Aug 15, 2014 5:18 pm

Yeah go ahead and edit it no worries
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby count2infinity on Fri Aug 15, 2014 5:22 pm

I will say I edited my post... I forgot to add Big Show leaving the ring at the end. My bad if editing isn't allowed.
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby DocEmrick on Fri Aug 15, 2014 5:25 pm

count2infinity wrote:I will say I edited my post... I forgot to add Big Show leaving the ring at the end. My bad if editing isn't allowed.


That's fine no big deal. Editing isn't a huge issue
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby DocEmrick on Fri Aug 15, 2014 7:43 pm



*~*~ In a dimly lit arena, The Corporation's theme blasts over the speakers. Immediately, the 15,000+ in attendance start roaring their distaste with the song. Vince McMahon emerges from the curtains, with a serious look on his face as he makes his way down to the ring. With a subtle grin ear to ear, Vince climbs the stairs to the ring, strutting his way between the ropes. He is handed a microphone as the music dies down ~*~*

Image

VINCE MCMAHON: Thank you. Thank you everybody for that warm welcome.

*~*~ The crowd continues to mock his sarcastic comments. Vince grows visibly pleased with the response, causing the crowd to hush a bit ~*~*

VINCE MCMAHON: You know...as I look around myself tonight I cannot help but notice that some of you...just don't seem to appreciate what we as sports entertainers do for you here today. The sacrifices that I make, that my own flesh and blood makes to satisfy you ungracious peasants. But I'm not here...to talk about you - oh no. I'm here to talk about someone who I couldn't help but notice today. And that man is EDDGEEE.

*~*~ The arena pops at McMahon's mention of Edge. ~*~*

VINCE MCMAHON: SHUT UP DAMMIT!

*~*~ The crowd starts a "You Suck!" chant, upsetting Vince. He stares into the thousands of faces out in the crowd, eventually breaking his silence... ~*~*

VINCE MCMAHON: You see Edge, today you found it necessary to bring my family into your tirade against The Game, Triple H. And you're going to regret...EVER...mentioning my name. For you see, come Tuesday Night at King of The Ring I am going to allow you the chance to...extend your legacy. But that being said, I want it to happen....in a fair manner.

*~*~ The crowd boos immediately knowing what is coming. Vince dawns a wide smile. ~*~*

VINCE MCMAHON: And in order to ensure quality control here...in the World Wrestling Federation...I am going to call upon my very own son, Shane McMahon to be the special guest referee in your match.

*~*~ Dissatisfaction, and groans echo through the crowd. Vince smiles, handing the microphone back to the ring attendant and walks back up the ramp. ~*~*
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby PensFanInDC on Fri Aug 15, 2014 8:05 pm

Say whaaaaaaat!?
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby redwill on Sat Aug 16, 2014 4:33 pm

SUPERSTAR: FAROOQ
CARD & MATCH: BIG BOSS MAN vs. FAROOQ (WWF Intercontinental Title)
POST: Opening


After the anouncement of the WWF Intercontinental Title match between BIG BOSS MAN and FAROOQ, a hush falls over the crowd. There is no music or fanfare.

FAROOQ emerges from the gateway in a stylish-yet-inexpensive black suit and sporting a bow tie. He quietly walks to the ring and enters with dignity and calm.

(The crowd boos.)

He takes up the microphone.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen," FAROOQ begins. (The crowd begins to rumble and wonder what is going on.) "I would like to welcome all of you to this event," he continues. "I would like to thank you for attending tonight's extravaganza. I hope you find this contest entertaining. I hope to bring favor upon my friends and uphold the virtues of my family, my race, my country, and my God. God bless America! And God bless you all for your support and your prayers."

(A sound rolls through the crowd. It's a "HUMMMMMM." The crowd is very uncertain. But, also, they're not exactly happy.)

"And blessed be the Prophet Muhammed, Peace Be Upon His Name..."

(The crowd finally realizes what they're supposed to do and reacts in muted boos and cat-calls.)

"Oh, I see," says FAROOQ. "A brother can't be a brother if he don't think like you? OK, fine. But let's all calm down and ..."

(The crowd starts going crazy with their boos and shouts.)

FAROOQ pauses, sighs, and then shouts, "YOU HONKEYS!!!" (The crowd goes wild.) "You see what a brother goes through in yo country?! IMA slap down yo ass! Ima take yo cracker-ass police and shove that Missouri tear gas down they throat!! Who's this whitey I'm fightin'? BIG BOSS MAN? LITTLE HO HO is more like it. Just like it is to put a cop against a black man! Get yo stupid ass out here in yo pig-suit and ima slam you into a crowd of peaceful protesters who ain't gonna be peaceful for long! You gonna go in with yo pig suit and come out with nothing on yo white ass 'cept a hole where you ain't never had one before!

"So come out here LITTLE HO HO and feel the REAL power of THE MAN ... "

FAROOQ rips off his suit, revealing his ripped body.

"THE MAN! ... THE TRUE MAN!! ... THE BLACK MAN!!!"

FAROOQ looks Vince McMahon in the eye ...


"DAMN!!"
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby slappybrown on Sun Aug 17, 2014 8:23 pm

SUPERSTAR: CHRIS MOTHER **** ING JERICHO
CARD & MATCH: CHRIS MOTHER **** ING JERICHO vs. THE ROCK (WWF HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH)
POST: Opening

IN A PITCH BLACK ARENA

Image

LIGHTS UP

Image

THE MAN OF 1,004 MOVES ENTER THE RING



WELCOME TO RAW........IS..............JERICHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Of course no one is surprised to find me booked for the opening evening of this promotion, in the ring for the WWE Heavyweight Championship yet again. No no no, of course not, because



And I've proven it. I achieved the single greatest moment in wrestling history, becoming the first Undisputed Champion in modern WWE history:

Image

But I could bore you all to tears, like some of the superstars did here earlier tonite -- those mid-card guys talking about number of titles won and blah blah -- and recount my resume. Here's the thing, everyone knows all of that already, knows I am the single greatest champion in WWE history.

Why is Jericho important? Jericho -- and only Jericho -- is the sole multimedia star in this company. From music, to looks, to television and film, I am it.

My adversary likes to claim otherwise. Dwayne likes to talk about his movies, and how good looking he is, and all of that. But let's compare, shall we? Chris Jericho brought the world the single greatest haircut in WWE history:

Image

The only interesting thing about Dwayne's hair is the constantly moving hairline. That thing recedes and advances like high tide in his hometown of Miami, only even oilier.

But that's not at all. Of course not. Jericho is at the forefront of fashion as well:

Image

Meanwhile, my opponent does this:

Image

But that's a cheap laugh admittedly. He was playing a role there, in a film, and whatever bizarre BDSM ballet role play movie he was doing, I am sure it was worth it. FOR THE ART, I AM SURE DWAYNE. That said, I do have to give him credit though, as I know Dwayne has recently updated his wardrobe:

Image

What do you keep in your pleather fanny pack? Your fashion sense? The various passwords for the multiple identities you use on internet message boards? I heard you tell people that you keep Pop Tarts and condoms in there. I'm as progressive as the next guy, but that seems like an odd combination for self-pleasure if you ask me.

So everyone here tonite, let's not kid ourselves. Who cares about the rest of this card? Who cares about Dwayne? We're all here to see Chris Jericho. Hell, I am here to see Chris Jericho. After I win the title against Dwayne, I am going to go backstage, I am going to comandeer Vince's office, and I am going to watch the replay of that win over and over. And I am going to crack a beer, and:

Image

Y2J EXITS THE RING; MEN CHEER, WOMEN FAINT, CHILDREN CRY IN JOY
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby BigMcK on Sun Aug 17, 2014 10:17 pm

SUPERSTAR: BIG BOSS MAN
CARD & MATCH: BIG BOSS MAN vs. FAROOQ (WWF Intercontinental Title)
POST: Response

Little Jimmy quickly left the Arena having just witnessed a lunatic spew angry hated-filled words at Big Boss Man. He knew he needed to reach Big Boss Man, his lifelong hero, to inform him of the upcoming throw down and also how vial and vicious Farooq was on stage. He hailed a taxi cab not sure where to search. The cab driver asked him where to, but Jimmy just wasn't able to give an answer or even an address. The cabbie asked what he was looking for, and Jimmy told him he needed to find Big Boss Man. Immediately, the cab lunged forward and the driver sped down the street away from the Arena. The chiseled driver had a pretty good idea. 20 minutes later, the cab stopped in a part of town Jimmy had never seen. "Where are we?" Jimmy asked. The driver responded, "The Nail." The Nail is a seedy bar on the wrong side of the tracks with 2 pool tables, a jukebox loaded with 70's Southern Rock, pictures of the regulars hang on the wall taken during various holiday events, and a life-sized cut out poster of Big Boss Man standing watch in the back corner. The cabbie got it right on the first guess, as was also there, the legend himself.

Image

Jimmy quickly started telling Big what had happened, and (five minutes later), Big put down his glass, picked up his trusty billy club and headed toward the door. The next stop: Channel 133 which broadcasts Public Service Announcements from the local Community College. Gaining access to a camera to be able to respond to Farooq was required. Farooq wanted a fight? Big Boss Man was now going to set the date, time, location, and estimated amount of time Farooq would need to heal from the battle. "Farooq, you are messing with the wrong arm of justice!" "You go as low as to use Rocky 3 quotes in your challenge, Farooq? Well, also from Mr. T, from that same movie, when asked what Mr. T's prediction of the fight would bring, "I predict PAIN!!!""

"Farooq, as this is a free country, you may lay praise to any god of your choosing, but just know this: your God will not save you from the all mighty law of the Big Boss Man. Welcome to my jurisdiction..."
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby count2infinity on Mon Aug 18, 2014 7:53 am

Image Hosted by tripod.... that'll be a deduction.
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby DocEmrick on Mon Aug 18, 2014 8:02 am

count2infinity wrote:Image Hosted by tripod.... that'll be a deduction.


A deduction for the image not working but he made up for it by sourcing one of the oldest web services from the 90s. This is known as the throwback rule. (+5 pts for sourcing angelfire and +200 for geocities)
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby columbia on Mon Aug 18, 2014 8:03 am

That turtleneck photo is creeping me out.
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby relantel on Mon Aug 18, 2014 10:34 am

I am so out of my element here. But I will make a go of it later tonight.
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby ulf on Mon Aug 18, 2014 1:41 pm

relantel wrote:I am so out of my element here. But I will make a go of it later tonight.

Same here lol
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby CBear3 on Mon Aug 18, 2014 9:56 pm

SUPERSTAR: Tazz
CARD & MATCH: KOTR Challenge vs. X-Pac
POST: Opening


The lights dim at Gund Arena, and Tazz enters the building carrying a 55 gallon drum over his head:



He slams the drum down and the lid pops off.

"Some say I'm past my prime, some say I should have never got out from behind the safety of the microphone. I'd like to thank those people, because their doubt feeds me. It burns deep inside me, and fuels my intensity. I don't have anything to prove to you slobs sitting there with your nachos. I'm twice the man you are.
<reaches into the barrel>
My beef is with all these other roided out, coke sniffing phonies. <blows white "coke" dust out of his hands>
They're under this delusion that's where strength comes from, but to hell with that. Strength comes from in here <points to his enormous cranium>. I'm here to remind all of them that I'm the real deal, and they're just failed body builders in tights.

As I climb back into the ring I've also got to give a shout to Vince McMahon. I couldn't have asked an easier first match back. Thanks for putting X-Pac on my card and giving me a warm-up. There's only one thing I can think of that's softer than X-Pac

<whips out a case of Charmin Ultra>
Image

And its funny because I wipe my *** with that too! My only complaint is that I got drug all the way to Cleveland for this gig. Cleveland to kick off the new season? F***ing Cleveland? I guess it's fitting that at the end of the night they'll drag Poor X-Pacs limp body back out to the curb to hang with the garbage that is this town.
<reaches back into the drum>
This joke of a town filled with delusional Browns fans, *uckeyes, and legions of jumping back on the Lebron bandwagon <rips James jersey in half>. There's only one King in this building, and thats me.

I've got one last thing in my can I'm saving just for X-Pac <pulls out a hemorroid cushion>.
Image
I'm not one to leave the fallen without a parting gift. So here you go man, for when I rip you a new one...AGAIN <Flings cushion like a frisbee into the ring.>
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby Crankshaft on Mon Aug 18, 2014 10:32 pm

slappybrown wrote:SUPERSTAR: CHRIS MOTHER **** ING JERICHO
CARD & MATCH: CHRIS MOTHER **** ING JERICHO vs. THE ROCK (WWF HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH)
POST: Opening

IN A PITCH BLACK ARENA

Image

LIGHTS UP

Image

THE MAN OF 1,004 MOVES ENTER THE RING



WELCOME TO RAW........IS..............JERICHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Of course no one is surprised to find me booked for the opening evening of this promotion, in the ring for the WWE Heavyweight Championship yet again. No no no, of course not, because



And I've proven it. I achieved the single greatest moment in wrestling history, becoming the first Undisputed Champion in modern WWE history:

Image

But I could bore you all to tears, like some of the superstars did here earlier tonite -- those mid-card guys talking about number of titles won and blah blah -- and recount my resume. Here's the thing, everyone knows all of that already, knows I am the single greatest champion in WWE history.

Why is Jericho important? Jericho -- and only Jericho -- is the sole multimedia star in this company. From music, to looks, to television and film, I am it.

My adversary likes to claim otherwise. Dwayne likes to talk about his movies, and how good looking he is, and all of that. But let's compare, shall we? Chris Jericho brought the world the single greatest haircut in WWE history:

Image

The only interesting thing about Dwayne's hair is the constantly moving hairline. That thing recedes and advances like high tide in his hometown of Miami, only even oilier.

But that's not at all. Of course not. Jericho is at the forefront of fashion as well:

Image

Meanwhile, my opponent does this:

Image

But that's a cheap laugh admittedly. He was playing a role there, in a film, and whatever bizarre BDSM ballet role play movie he was doing, I am sure it was worth it. FOR THE ART, I AM SURE DWAYNE. That said, I do have to give him credit though, as I know Dwayne has recently updated his wardrobe:

Image

What do you keep in your pleather fanny pack? Your fashion sense? The various passwords for the multiple identities you use on internet message boards? I heard you tell people that you keep Pop Tarts and condoms in there. I'm as progressive as the next guy, but that seems like an odd combination for self-pleasure if you ask me.

So everyone here tonite, let's not kid ourselves. Who cares about the rest of this card? Who cares about Dwayne? We're all here to see Chris Jericho. Hell, I am here to see Chris Jericho. After I win the title against Dwayne, I am going to go backstage, I am going to comandeer Vince's office, and I am going to watch the replay of that win over and over. And I am going to crack a beer, and:

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Y2J EXITS THE RING; MEN CHEER, WOMEN FAINT, CHILDREN CRY IN JOY




Image

Finally, the Rock has come back…..to Cleveland.

Cleveland! Can you feel it? Can you feel the electricity? Well, before we electrify, we have to take care of some business first.

Chris Jericho. Jericho, you came out and ran your mouth. Yes – you were WWE’s first undisputed champion. You have quite the list of accomplishments. However, to your own accord, you would rather talk about being the sole multimedia star instead of being the WWF Champion. You would rather talk about being the fifth person eliminated from Dancing with the Stars in 2011.

Image

Image

A few years ago, I left the WWF to chase some wild dreams. Dreams that I would not have been able to achieve if it weren’t for the millions….AND MILLIONS of The Rock’s fans. However, at my core, I was and always will be a professional wrestler. From my Grandmother Lia Maivia and Grandfather High Chief Peter Maivia to my father Rocky Johnson – wrestling is in my blood. That’s why I am here today. Not to talk about my mid-90s fashion choices or some of the excellent family programming like the Tooth Fairy.

I’m here to electrify the fans. With that said, Chris. I know you’re a musician. The Rock can also carry a tune. I wrote you a song that I think you will enjoy.

Image

(Tune of Jailhouse Rock)
♫ Tuesday night is the King of the Ring
♫ The cream of the crop from here to Beijing
♫ Some of the best that I have ever seen
♫ Then why am I stuck fighting Moongoose Mcqueen

♫ Let’s Rock
♫ Everybody, Let’s Rock
♫ Fifty forth on the Billboard Charts
♫ Unlike Fozzy, I know how to Rock

But all seriousness, Chris. Fozzy is a good band. I dig it. I’m sure you’re killing it at the country fairs on the weekends. We’re almost done here, Cleveland. If you know the words, feel free to sing along…

♫ You say you’re the man of 1,004 moves
♫ I’m not really sure what that really proves
♫ The title is mine, so you can keep on looking
♫ If you can smell what The Rock is cooking

♫ Let’s Rock
♫ Everybody, Let’s Rock
♫ Jericho, you can’t hold my jock
♫ The Next WWF Champ is the Rock

Like I said, Chris. I'm not here for the money. I'm not here to promote a movie. I'm not here until my band decides to go on tour again. I'm here for one reason and one reason only - to be the WWF Champion.

Image

Image
Crankshaft
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby MalkinIsMyHomeboy on Tue Aug 19, 2014 1:38 pm

SUPERSTAR: ROAD DOGG JESSE JAMES
CARD & MATCH: KANE vs. ROAD DOGG JESSE JAMES (KOTR Challenge)
POST: Opening













OH, YOU DIDNT KNOW?

Image


~~crowd lights up, yells in unison~~


YOUR ASS BETTER CAAAALLLL SOMEBODYYYYYYYYYY




~~spits water, walks up to stage~~



It's me! It's me! The d-o-double g.


How are we doin' Cleveland?! We're gonna kick this shiznit doggy style if ya feel me.


CUT MY MUSIC, CUT IT!


~~silence~~


Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, D-Generation X proudly brings to you the soon to be KING OF THE RING CHAMPION OF THE WOOOORRRRRLD Road Dogg Jesse James! The NEW! AGE! OUTLAWW!


And if you're not down with that, I got TWO WORDS for ya! SUCK IT!

Image

And you know who isn't down with that? The big, red BIOTCH Kane! I've had bowel movements with more personality than that lifeless, talentless, sad-excuse-for-a-monkey's-uncle Kane. Always overshadowed by his older brother, the only thing people think of when they hear the name 'Kane' is that B-list abomination of a movie 'See No Evil'. In all honesty, the only thing more hilarious than that is watching Kane attempt to wrestle. All Kane is is a rest stop on d-o-double g's road to winning the King of the Ring challenge.


I'm outie.
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby canaan on Tue Aug 19, 2014 4:02 pm

the errey i breathe wrote:SUPERSTAR: Edge
CARD & MATCH: King of The Ring Challenge vs Triple H
POST: Response



Edge stands next to an empty chair in the center of the ring

Edge: Welcome to the "Cutting Edge." Tonight, I was supposed to have a very special guest. A guest who prides himself on his "legacy." You all know him as Triple H. Sadly Triple H could not be here tonight as he is too busy attending corporate meetings with Vince. You see, HHH likes to focus on his legacy and what a legacy it is. Kissing the ass of every McMahon to the tune of 23 Championships, which would be impressive if they weren't handed to him on a silver platter. I've got to say, it seems as though marrying the boss's daughter certainly has its privileges.

Image


Edge: Unfortunately, age and that time out of the ring spent in boardrooms has fuzzied his memory a bit. He can't remember who he faced in his title matches because they happened so long ago. You see I remember each and every one of my championships. I remember November 23, 2008 in Boston. You should remember that night too Triple H. You were there. It was Survivor Series and you stood in the ring with me and Victor Kozlov. That was also the last time you held the WWE Championship. Now given your memory issues you probably don't remember exactly what happened but allow me to refresh your memory.

Points to Titantron



Edge: That was me taking your title Triple H. And you haven't sniffed it since.

Image

Edge: Triple H you questioned MY legacy, a legacy that includes 31 Championships in this company, 8 more than you and the McMahons were able to cobble together. Each and every one fought for, earned and remembered. Don't worry though, its not just your memory of your titles that is going. These fans don't remember either.

Image

Edge:Triple H, as you know I am an opportunist, a predator, and this King of The Ring is an opportunity for me to be the number one contender and regain my place at the top of the company. On Tuesday you will get to experience the grit you say I'm lacking. The grit that made me an 11-time World Champion in this company. The grit that will send you back to the beginning, picking up the pieces of your legacy in the dirt it started from.

Image

drops mic, walks out of the ring
SUPERSTAR: Triple H
CARD & MATCH: King of the Ring vs. Edge (KotR Challenge)
POST: Rebuttal

As the crew furiously builds the ring for tonights event, the arena goes black. a flashing red light blinds the staff



Gangrel Theme
Spoiler:


A muscular version of Edge, dressed in dollar tree sunglasses, a ratty blonde wig, and wearing a sparkling "Team Hunter" T-shirt, stumbles his way down the rows of empty seats, knocking seats over along the way. The man trips over the black retaining wall, begins to run towards the ring to slide in but is scared to hurt himself. he sheepishly walks over to the steps and climbs in.

Edge: Wuh, wuh, wuh welcome to The Cutting Edge.

He throws his hands in the air while the crew completely ignores him.

Edge: I dont care if nobody listens to me. I have some things to say. I may be some run-of-the-mill, no talent hack, but if im going to lose in the first round of the KotR, it might as well be to the best! I might as well just forf...

Edge stops what hes doing and motions to the crew.

Edge: Hey, I forgot my cup, bring me my cup!

The crewman drops his bundle of cables and grabs the cherry gatorade cup that was left on the ring steps. he hands it to Edge and walks off

Edge lifts the cherry gatorade cup up with two hands and drinks from it, spilling its red contents all down the front of his shirt

Edge: Much better. As I was saying, I may have spoken out of line when i said i beat Triple H 6 years ago at Survivor Series when we all know that I took advantage of a true gladiator that was fighting another opponent in a manly, respectable fashion while i snakishly administered a cheap move. I apologize for that, sir. Also, I know that without Triple H's help, i wouldnt have nearly the amount of success in this sport. Hes like an idol of mine. A true mentor. I also said some really awkward things about being a predator, which may or may not get me banned from being around elementary schools. This whole thing has gotten out of hand, honestly. So, when anybody asks who i want to win this evening's match, i would definitely be on Team Hunter.

Edge lifts the last of his cherry drink to his mouth and spits the contents of the cherry cup in the air--a true homage to a living legend.

Edge rips off the cheap, garish glasses and wig to reveal Triple H

Triple H: Enough of the jokes, Edge. Or should i say "Enough of that joke, Edge" When the King of the Ring is complete, I will be sitting on the throne once again. You will do your normal post-match routine

Triple H points to the jumbotron while not breaking eye contact with the camera

Spoiler:
Image


Triple H: You will always be near the Edge of greatness, but youll always fall short playing The Game.

Thejumbotron plays this gif on repeat as King of Kings begins to play

Spoiler:
Image


King of The Ring HHH Theme - King of Kings (Motorhead)
Spoiler:
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Re: *RAW is WAR*: Game Thread

Postby slappybrown on Tue Aug 19, 2014 4:58 pm

SUPERSTAR: CHRIS I **** YOU NOT JERICHO
CARD & MATCH: CHRIS SERIOUSLY ITS REALLY HIM I CANT BELIEVE IT HES EVEN BETTER LOOKING IN PERSON JERICHO vs. DWAYNE (WWE CHAMPIONSHIP)
POST: Rebuttal

Crankshaft wrote:


Image

Finally, the Rock has come back…..to Cleveland.

Cleveland! Can you feel it? Can you feel the electricity? Well, before we electrify, we have to take care of some business first.

Chris Jericho. Jericho, you came out and ran your mouth. Yes – you were WWE’s first undisputed champion. You have quite the list of accomplishments. However, to your own accord, you would rather talk about being the sole multimedia star instead of being the WWF Champion. You would rather talk about being the fifth person eliminated from Dancing with the Stars in 2011.

Image

Image

A few years ago, I left the WWF to chase some wild dreams. Dreams that I would not have been able to achieve if it weren’t for the millions….AND MILLIONS of The Rock’s fans. However, at my core, I was and always will be a professional wrestler. From my Grandmother Lia Maivia and Grandfather High Chief Peter Maivia to my father Rocky Johnson – wrestling is in my blood. That’s why I am here today. Not to talk about my mid-90s fashion choices or some of the excellent family programming like the Tooth Fairy.

I’m here to electrify the fans. With that said, Chris. I know you’re a musician. The Rock can also carry a tune. I wrote you a song that I think you will enjoy.

Image

(Tune of Jailhouse Rock)
♫ Tuesday night is the King of the Ring
♫ The cream of the crop from here to Beijing
♫ Some of the best that I have ever seen
♫ Then why am I stuck fighting Moongoose Mcqueen

♫ Let’s Rock
♫ Everybody, Let’s Rock
♫ Fifty forth on the Billboard Charts
♫ Unlike Fozzy, I know how to Rock

But all seriousness, Chris. Fozzy is a good band. I dig it. I’m sure you’re killing it at the country fairs on the weekends. We’re almost done here, Cleveland. If you know the words, feel free to sing along…

♫ You say you’re the man of 1,004 moves
♫ I’m not really sure what that really proves
♫ The title is mine, so you can keep on looking
♫ If you can smell what The Rock is cooking

♫ Let’s Rock
♫ Everybody, Let’s Rock
♫ Jericho, you can’t hold my jock
♫ The Next WWF Champ is the Rock

Like I said, Chris. I'm not here for the money. I'm not here to promote a movie. I'm not here until my band decides to go on tour again. I'm here for one reason and one reason only - to be the WWF Champion.

Image

Image


FINALLY DWAYNE HAS...................STOPPED BORING 20 THOUSAND PEOPLE

I've never been so bored Dwayne. That song was interminable. Halfway through I just wanted to:

Image

The only thing I learned and the MILLLLLLIONS WATCHING AT HOME learned is that you failed Dwayne. Yes, you failed. You're resigned to limiting yourself, to narrowing your career and aspirations. And that one thing -- wrestling -- is something you're not even that good at.

For you see, Jericho is the greatest wrestling champion of all time. Jericho makes WWE history and unites the belts. Jericho writes NYT best sellers. Jericho plays the Gramercy Theatre in NYC. Jericho's band charts on Billboard. But most importantly, Jericho -- in less than 24 hours -- wins the WWE Championship yet again. And Dwayne, you'll join the rest of these low-rent, mid-card losers fighting for the scraps of the Jericho reign. Maybe Vince can dust off the WCW TV title or something, help you out with something more your speed.

So yes, Dwayne, I am here for the strap. And the money. And the women. And the cheers. And Jericho will have it all, because

Image

Y2J EXITS, GENERAL FANFARE AND COMMOTION
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