Worst Jokes Ever Thread

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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby columbia on Wed May 04, 2011 10:45 am

This thread is all my fault.
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby newarenanow on Wed May 04, 2011 10:47 am

Delete if over the line:

Spoiler:
What's the difference between oral and anal sex?


Spoiler:
Oral sex makes one's whole day. Anal sex makes one whole week.
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby columbia on Wed May 04, 2011 10:54 am

:pop:
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Pavel Bure on Wed May 04, 2011 10:55 am

newarenanow wrote:Delete if over the line:

Spoiler:
What's the difference between oral and anal sex?


Spoiler:
Oral sex makes one's whole day. Anal sex makes one whole week.

Confucious say...
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby shafnutz05 on Wed May 04, 2011 11:01 am

:shock:
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby IrishEyes on Wed May 04, 2011 11:03 am

:lol: :face:
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby slappybrown on Wed May 04, 2011 11:10 am

shafnutz05 wrote: :shock:
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Kaizer on Thu May 05, 2011 3:18 am

what do anal sex and vegetables have in common?

Spoiler:
if you have too much of them as a kid, you wont enjoy them as an adult
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby no name on Thu May 05, 2011 8:18 am

2 jews walk into a bar one says to the other this place is expensive, so they left. Old Don Rickles joke.

A bear was taking a crap in the woods, and says to a passing rabbit, do you ever have trouble with poop sticking to your fur. Why no says the rabbit. SO the bear picked up the rabbit and wipped his bum with him.
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Sarcastic on Fri May 06, 2011 1:53 pm

I can't believe that anal sex jokes are permitted on LGP. Times are changing.

I got one.

What happened to the Jew who ran into a wall while sporting a boner? He broke his nose.
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Sarcastic on Fri May 06, 2011 1:54 pm

Does not apply to the god of sex, Ron Jeremy, of course.
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby pittsports87 on Fri May 06, 2011 1:57 pm

The Washington Capitals in the playoffs.
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby blackjack68 on Fri May 06, 2011 2:04 pm

Have you tried the new Osama martini?

It's good. Two shots and a splash.
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby pittsports87 on Fri May 06, 2011 2:06 pm

blackjack68 wrote:Have you tried the new Osama martini?

It's good. Two shots and a splash.

:lol: :fist:
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby ILikeTurtles on Fri May 06, 2011 2:11 pm

pittsports87 wrote:The Washington Capitals in the playoffs.

This belongs in the best joke ever thread, because their attempts keep me laughing.
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby ILikeTurtles on Fri May 06, 2011 2:15 pm

Why is it never a good idea to go sky diving with Terri Shiavo?
Spoiler:
You never know when it's the right time to pull the cord.
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Pavement on Fri May 06, 2011 2:18 pm

What do you call a guy with a shovel on his head?

Spoiler:
Doug


:-)
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby eddysnake on Fri May 06, 2011 2:27 pm

where do gorillas live?

Spoiler:
in ape-artments. made that up, deserves to be on a popsicle stick
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby roland on Fri May 06, 2011 2:37 pm

This one is bad but is better when you hear it instead of reading it.

What do you call a Fish with no "eyes"

Spoiler:
Fsh
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby roland on Fri May 06, 2011 2:42 pm

I came up with this one myself, reminds me of something Leno would say in his monologue:

I'm sure everyone knows by now that Osama Bin Laden has been killed, I'm surprised that it took this long. Apparently Special Forces were looking in the hills and caves of Afghanistan for him not realizing that he was in his "Man Cave" located at his million dollar home in Pakistan!

Spoiler:
http://www.hiyoooo.com/
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby pittsports87 on Fri May 06, 2011 2:43 pm

roland wrote:I came up with this one myself, reminds me of something Leno would say in his monologue:

I'm sure everyone knows by now that Osama Bin Laden has been killed, I'm surprised that it took this long. Apparently Special Forces were looking in the hills and caves of Afghanistan for him not realizing that he was in his "Man Cave" located at his million dollar home in Pakistan!

Spoiler:
http://www.hiyoooo.com/

Stick to your day job :slug:
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby bhaw on Fri May 06, 2011 2:44 pm

If girls with big knockers work at Hooters, were do girls with one leg work?

Spoiler:
ihop
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Tomas on Fri May 06, 2011 2:45 pm

Bear in mind you wanted the "worst jokes". So here is one I know since high school:

A man visits a sexuologist and says: "Doctor, every time after I [have a good time with my wife], three flies fly out of her nose." The sexuologist has obviously never heard of anything like that. So he visits the man at home, and gets to observe the couple to [have a good time]. And, indeed, after everything is over, three flies fly out of the wife's nose. That, naturally, spurs his curiosity to the extreme. So, he decides to examine the man and the woman. After he is done, he turns to the man, and says: "OK, I finally know what your problem is!"

Spoiler:
"Your wife has been dead for three months."
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Sarcastic on Fri May 06, 2011 4:41 pm

Tomas wrote:Bear in mind you wanted the "worst jokes". So here is one I know since high school:

A man visits a sexuologist and says: "Doctor, every time after I [have a good time with my wife], three flies fly out of her nose." The sexuologist has obviously never heard of anything like that. So he visits the man at home, and gets to observe the couple to [have a good time]. And, indeed, after everything is over, three flies fly out of the wife's nose. That, naturally, spurs his curiosity to the extreme. So, he decides to examine the man and the woman. After he is done, he turns to the man, and says: "OK, I finally know what your problem is!"

Spoiler:
"Your wife has been dead for three months."


Dude, that's sick.
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Froggy on Fri May 06, 2011 5:00 pm

where did the general keep his armies?
Spoiler:
in his sleevies
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