Worst Jokes Ever Thread

[columbia]

This thread is all my fault.

[newarenanow]

Delete if over the line:

Spoiler:

What's the difference between oral and anal sex?

Spoiler:

Oral sex makes one's whole day. Anal sex makes one whole week.

[columbia]

[Pavel Bure]

Delete if over the line:

Spoiler:

What's the difference between oral and anal sex?

Spoiler:

Oral sex makes one's whole day. Anal sex makes one whole week.

Confucious say...

[shafnutz05]

[IrishEyes]

[slappybrown]

[Kaizer]

what do anal sex and vegetables have in common?

Spoiler:

if you have too much of them as a kid, you wont enjoy them as an adult

[no name]

2 jews walk into a bar one says to the other this place is expensive, so they left. Old Don Rickles joke.

A bear was taking a crap in the woods, and says to a passing rabbit, do you ever have trouble with poop sticking to your fur. Why no says the rabbit. SO the bear picked up the rabbit and wipped his bum with him.

[Sarcastic]

I can't believe that anal sex jokes are permitted on LGP. Times are changing.

I got one.

What happened to the Jew who ran into a wall while sporting a boner? He broke his nose.

[Sarcastic]

Does not apply to the god of sex, Ron Jeremy, of course.

[pittsports87]

The Washington Capitals in the playoffs.

[blackjack68]

Have you tried the new Osama martini?

It's good. Two shots and a splash.

[pittsports87]

Have you tried the new Osama martini?

It's good. Two shots and a splash.

[ILikeTurtles]

The Washington Capitals in the playoffs.

This belongs in the best joke ever thread, because their attempts keep me laughing.

[ILikeTurtles]

Why is it never a good idea to go sky diving with Terri Shiavo?

Spoiler:

You never know when it's the right time to pull the cord.

[Pavement]

What do you call a guy with a shovel on his head?

Spoiler:

Doug

[eddysnake]

where do gorillas live?

Spoiler:

in ape-artments. made that up, deserves to be on a popsicle stick

[roland]

This one is bad but is better when you hear it instead of reading it.

What do you call a Fish with no "eyes"

Spoiler:

Fsh

[roland]

I came up with this one myself, reminds me of something Leno would say in his monologue:

I'm sure everyone knows by now that Osama Bin Laden has been killed, I'm surprised that it took this long. Apparently Special Forces were looking in the hills and caves of Afghanistan for him not realizing that he was in his "Man Cave" located at his million dollar home in Pakistan!

Spoiler:

http://www.hiyoooo.com/

[pittsports87]

I came up with this one myself, reminds me of something Leno would say in his monologue:

I'm sure everyone knows by now that Osama Bin Laden has been killed, I'm surprised that it took this long. Apparently Special Forces were looking in the hills and caves of Afghanistan for him not realizing that he was in his "Man Cave" located at his million dollar home in Pakistan!

Spoiler:

http://www.hiyoooo.com/

Stick to your day job

[bhaw]

If girls with big knockers work at Hooters, were do girls with one leg work?

Spoiler:

ihop

[Tomas]

Bear in mind you wanted the "worst jokes". So here is one I know since high school:

A man visits a sexuologist and says: "Doctor, every time after I [have a good time with my wife], three flies fly out of her nose." The sexuologist has obviously never heard of anything like that. So he visits the man at home, and gets to observe the couple to [have a good time]. And, indeed, after everything is over, three flies fly out of the wife's nose. That, naturally, spurs his curiosity to the extreme. So, he decides to examine the man and the woman. After he is done, he turns to the man, and says: "OK, I finally know what your problem is!"

Spoiler:

"Your wife has been dead for three months."

[Sarcastic]

Bear in mind you wanted the "worst jokes". So here is one I know since high school:

A man visits a sexuologist and says: "Doctor, every time after I [have a good time with my wife], three flies fly out of her nose." The sexuologist has obviously never heard of anything like that. So he visits the man at home, and gets to observe the couple to [have a good time]. And, indeed, after everything is over, three flies fly out of the wife's nose. That, naturally, spurs his curiosity to the extreme. So, he decides to examine the man and the woman. After he is done, he turns to the man, and says: "OK, I finally know what your problem is!"

Spoiler:

"Your wife has been dead for three months."

Dude, that's sick.

[Froggy]

where did the general keep his armies?

Spoiler:

in his sleevies