Worst Jokes Ever Thread

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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Fast B on Fri May 06, 2011 5:43 pm

Tomas wrote:Bear in mind you wanted the "worst jokes". So here is one I know since high school:

A man visits a sexuologist and says: "Doctor, every time after I [have a good time with my wife], three flies fly out of her nose." The sexuologist has obviously never heard of anything like that. So he visits the man at home, and gets to observe the couple to [have a good time]. And, indeed, after everything is over, three flies fly out of the wife's nose. That, naturally, spurs his curiosity to the extreme. So, he decides to examine the man and the woman. After he is done, he turns to the man, and says: "OK, I finally know what your problem is!"

Spoiler:
"Your wife has been dead for three months."

:shock:

Also, I want to be a sexuologist when I grow up.
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Guinness on Fri May 06, 2011 7:31 pm

I have a rooster.

You have a donkey.

Your donkey eats both of the legs off of my rooster.

What do we have?

Spoiler:
2 feet of my c**k in your a*s

HIYO!

:shock:

:lol:
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Chefpatrick871 on Fri May 06, 2011 8:02 pm

Guinness wrote:I have a rooster.

You have a donkey.

Your donkey eats both of the legs off of my rooster.

What do we have?

Spoiler:
2 feet of my c**k in your a*s

HIYO!

:shock:

:lol:


Sorry sir, this is in the wrong thread and has now become my new favorite joke, I am going to spread this right now.
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Guinness on Fri May 06, 2011 8:03 pm

Chefpatrick871 wrote:Sorry sir, this is in the wrong thread and has now become my new favorite joke, I am going to spread this right now.


If there were a "total freaking gold" thread, I would have posted it in there. As it were, I went with this one... ;)
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Chefpatrick871 on Fri May 06, 2011 8:11 pm

Guinness wrote:
Chefpatrick871 wrote:Sorry sir, this is in the wrong thread and has now become my new favorite joke, I am going to spread this right now.


If there were a "total freaking gold" thread, I would have posted it in there. As it were, I went with this one... ;)


Agreed, that is some gold material there.
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby pens2005 on Fri May 06, 2011 8:13 pm

TheHammer24 wrote:
Juice wrote:What's brown and sticky?

Spoiler:
A stick.


Spoiler:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I LOL'ed really hard at the second spoiler.


hahaha me too
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby columbia on Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:33 pm

ExPatriatePen wrote:
profpolisci wrote:Reasoner is Harry Reasoner's son


What do you get if you cross a computer with a gorilla?

Spoiler:
A "Hairy Reasoner"
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Point Breeze Penguins on Tue Oct 25, 2011 8:45 pm

shafnutz05 wrote:What do Joan of Arc and a canoe have in common?


Spoiler:
They both burn when set on fire.


FIFY
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Physical_Graffiti on Wed Oct 26, 2011 12:40 am

Guinness wrote:I have a rooster.

You have a donkey.

Your donkey eats both of the legs off of my rooster.

What do we have?

Spoiler:
2 feet of my c**k in your a*s

HIYO!

:shock:

:lol:

ROFLMFAO
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Mr. Colby on Wed Oct 26, 2011 1:30 am

Two peanuts cross the road.

Spoiler:
One was a salted
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Fast B on Wed Oct 26, 2011 1:50 am

What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?

Spoiler:
Nothing - you can't cross a vector with a scalar.
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Juice on Wed Oct 26, 2011 10:14 am

pens2005 wrote:
TheHammer24 wrote:
Juice wrote:What's brown and sticky?

Spoiler:
A stick.


Spoiler:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I LOL'ed really hard at the second spoiler.


hahaha me too

the pause, stupid smile and subsequent over the top laughter is actually essential to irl derivery
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby shafnutz05 on Wed Oct 26, 2011 10:16 am

lol wow, I just noticed Kaizer's joke from yesteryear....
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby npv708 on Wed Oct 26, 2011 10:57 am

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said.. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as unknowns, but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby llipgh2 on Wed Oct 26, 2011 11:23 am

I didn't read through this entire thread, so if this joke is already here - sorry!

What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?

Spoiler:
You can't make a vita-man.


Ba-zing!
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby JeffDFD on Wed Oct 26, 2011 12:49 pm

What do a chicken and a grape have in common?

Spoiler:
They're both purple...except for the chicken.
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Physical_Graffiti on Wed Oct 26, 2011 1:38 pm

:lol: Those last three jokes we fantastic!
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby JeffDFD on Thu Oct 27, 2011 8:20 am

There is a joke out there about the difference between Jam and Jelly, but it is quite crude and of an R rated nature...but to those that have heard it...


Haha..amiriteguys? :fist:
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Physical_Graffiti on Fri Oct 28, 2011 2:16 am

Do you have Robin Hood by the bag? Let him go it hurts.
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby legame on Fri Oct 28, 2011 9:07 am

Old man and a young boy are walking late at night in the woods. Kid looks at the old man and says, "Gosh, i'm kinda scared!" Old man replies:

Spoiler:
Imagine how I feel... I have to walk out of here alone.
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby ExPatriatePen on Fri Oct 28, 2011 9:15 am

Chefpatrick871 wrote:
Guinness wrote:I have a rooster.

You have a donkey.

Your donkey eats both of the legs off of my rooster.

What do we have?

Spoiler:
2 feet of my c**k in your a*s

HIYO!

:shock:

:lol:


Sorry sir, this is in the wrong thread and has now become my new favorite joke, I am going to spread this right now.

Note to self: never let Guinny walk behind you. :wink: :lol:
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby DudeMan2766 on Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:09 pm

I cannot wait until Tuesday so I can start using my favorite bad joke of all time. Telling people "Halloween is over, you cant take off the mask"
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Kaizer on Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:45 pm

how did jesus get hurt playing hockey?

Spoiler:
he got nailed into the boards
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby Physical_Graffiti on Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:53 pm

Why can't witches have babies?

Spoiler:
Because their husbands have hollow-wieners
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Re: Worst Jokes Ever Thread

Postby redwill on Mon Oct 31, 2011 12:17 am

Kaizer wrote:how did jesus get hurt playing hockey?

Spoiler:
he got nailed into the boards


Jesus walks into a motel, throws three nails on the front desk and says,

Spoiler:
"Can you put me up for the night?"
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