Worst Jokes Ever Thread

[Fast B]

Bear in mind you wanted the "worst jokes". So here is one I know since high school:

A man visits a sexuologist and says: "Doctor, every time after I [have a good time with my wife], three flies fly out of her nose." The sexuologist has obviously never heard of anything like that. So he visits the man at home, and gets to observe the couple to [have a good time]. And, indeed, after everything is over, three flies fly out of the wife's nose. That, naturally, spurs his curiosity to the extreme. So, he decides to examine the man and the woman. After he is done, he turns to the man, and says: "OK, I finally know what your problem is!"

Spoiler:

"Your wife has been dead for three months."

Also, I want to be a sexuologist when I grow up.

[Guinness]

I have a rooster.

You have a donkey.

Your donkey eats both of the legs off of my rooster.

What do we have?

Spoiler:

2 feet of my c**k in your a*s

HIYO!

[Chefpatrick871]

I have a rooster.

You have a donkey.

Your donkey eats both of the legs off of my rooster.

What do we have?

Spoiler:

2 feet of my c**k in your a*s

HIYO!

Sorry sir, this is in the wrong thread and has now become my new favorite joke, I am going to spread this right now.

[Guinness]

Sorry sir, this is in the wrong thread and has now become my new favorite joke, I am going to spread this right now.

If there were a "total freaking gold" thread, I would have posted it in there. As it were, I went with this one...

[Chefpatrick871]

Sorry sir, this is in the wrong thread and has now become my new favorite joke, I am going to spread this right now.

If there were a "total freaking gold" thread, I would have posted it in there. As it were, I went with this one...

Agreed, that is some gold material there.

[pens2005]

What's brown and sticky?

Spoiler:

A stick.

Spoiler:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I LOL'ed really hard at the second spoiler.

hahaha me too

[columbia]

Reasoner is Harry Reasoner's son

What do you get if you cross a computer with a gorilla?

Spoiler:

A "Hairy Reasoner"

[Point Breeze Penguins]

What do Joan of Arc and a canoe have in common?

Spoiler:

They both burn when set on fire.

FIFY

[Physical_Graffiti]

I have a rooster.

You have a donkey.

Your donkey eats both of the legs off of my rooster.

What do we have?

Spoiler:

2 feet of my c**k in your a*s

HIYO!

ROFLMFAO

[Mr. Colby]

Two peanuts cross the road.

Spoiler:

One was a salted

[Fast B]

What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?

Spoiler:

Nothing - you can't cross a vector with a scalar.

[Juice]

What's brown and sticky?

Spoiler:

A stick.

Spoiler:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I LOL'ed really hard at the second spoiler.

hahaha me too

the pause, stupid smile and subsequent over the top laughter is actually essential to irl derivery

[shafnutz05]

lol wow, I just noticed Kaizer's joke from yesteryear....

[npv708]

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said.. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as unknowns, but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

[llipgh2]

I didn't read through this entire thread, so if this joke is already here - sorry!

What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?

Spoiler:

You can't make a vita-man.

Ba-zing!

[JeffDFD]

What do a chicken and a grape have in common?

Spoiler:

They're both purple...except for the chicken.

[Physical_Graffiti]

Those last three jokes we fantastic!

[JeffDFD]

There is a joke out there about the difference between Jam and Jelly, but it is quite crude and of an R rated nature...but to those that have heard it...


Haha..amiriteguys?

[Physical_Graffiti]

Do you have Robin Hood by the bag? Let him go it hurts.

[legame]

Old man and a young boy are walking late at night in the woods. Kid looks at the old man and says, "Gosh, i'm kinda scared!" Old man replies:

Spoiler:

Imagine how I feel... I have to walk out of here alone.

[ExPatriatePen]

I have a rooster.

You have a donkey.

Your donkey eats both of the legs off of my rooster.

What do we have?

Spoiler:

2 feet of my c**k in your a*s

HIYO!

Sorry sir, this is in the wrong thread and has now become my new favorite joke, I am going to spread this right now.

Note to self: never let Guinny walk behind you.

[DudeMan2766]

I cannot wait until Tuesday so I can start using my favorite bad joke of all time. Telling people "Halloween is over, you cant take off the mask"

[Kaizer]

how did jesus get hurt playing hockey?

Spoiler:

he got nailed into the boards

[Physical_Graffiti]

Why can't witches have babies?

Spoiler:

Because their husbands have hollow-wieners

[redwill]

how did jesus get hurt playing hockey?

Spoiler:

he got nailed into the boards

Jesus walks into a motel, throws three nails on the front desk and says,

Spoiler:

"Can you put me up for the night?"