UPDATE: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything...AGAIN for 5000!

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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby npv708 on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:01 pm

Who's funnier?

George Carlin or Rodney Dangerfield.
Dane Cook or Jeff Dunham.
Mitch Hedberg or Chris Farley.
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby npv708 on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:02 pm

newarenanow wrote:How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Can you type that three times fast?


YOU DARN WOODCHUCKS, QUIT CHUCKING MY WOOD.
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby JeffDFD on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:07 pm

newarenanow wrote:How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Can you type that three times fast?



That farmer guy from the commercial who yells at them and tells them to stop chucking wood set out a bear trap that successfully maimed one of the woodchucks...he then intentionally kept it alive and suffering as a warning to all other woodchucks who would like to chuck his wood. A video clip of the incident went viral on the WWWW (world wide woodchuck web) and no wood has been chucked since. They now just attempt to occupy large amounts of land as they are now called "groundhogs."


Yes, I can type that 3 times fast. With the amazing technology we have, I can copy and paste it by "typing" CTRL+V

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby Froggy on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:08 pm

What's in your pockets?
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby newarenanow on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:09 pm

What are "tops" and "bottoms" in the shad sense?
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby canaan on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:10 pm

npv708 wrote:Dane Cook or Jeff Dunham.

trick question
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby mac5155 on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:11 pm

JeffDFD wrote:
canaan wrote:you ever beer bong a 40? if not, why not?


No.

Several reason's why not:

Logical: I don't think I could successfully, at least not without making a mess, spilling beer, puking.

Self-righteous: Because I do not base my self-worth on the amount of beer consumed.

Practical: I do not consume much beer in the first place, anyway


What about malt liquor?
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby JeffDFD on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:12 pm

npv708 wrote:Who's funnier?

George Carlin or Rodney Dangerfield.
Dane Cook or Jeff Dunham.
Mitch Hedberg or Chris Farley.


Oh wow.

I would have to say George Carlin, Dane Cook :oops: , and Mitch Hedberg.

I base this mainly on creativity:

Dangerfield stuck around on the "no respect" bit

Dunham is a ventriloquist and mainly just says racist things through a puppet (although Dane Cook mainly just yells thing loudly to get laughs...I would generally pass on both)

Hedberg was hilarious and different. Farley was good as well, but got a lot of laughs mainly for his physical humor...tough one.
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby JeffDFD on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:15 pm

newarenanow wrote:What are "tops" and "bottoms" in the shad sense?


Lots of discussion around this topic.

First - ask your parents.

Otherwise - I assume the masses would want me to say Shad is always bottom...but the true answer is neither. Shad is a side to side/spooning and cuddling type. Or so I've heard :pop:
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby shafnutz05 on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:19 pm

A lot of weird stuff circulating around the board today....
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby newarenanow on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:19 pm

If you could go back to any date in time and experience one day (and you will not screw up the future no matter how hard you try), what date would that be?
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby JeffDFD on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:19 pm

mac5155 wrote:
JeffDFD wrote:
canaan wrote:you ever beer bong a 40? if not, why not?


No.

Several reason's why not:

Logical: I don't think I could successfully, at least not without making a mess, spilling beer, puking.

Self-righteous: Because I do not base my self-worth on the amount of beer consumed.

Practical: I do not consume much beer in the first place, anyway


What about malt liquor?


Have not consumed a 40 of that either. But, cool story, bro, related:

I was in the "O" out in Oakland. I went to pay at teh counter where their malt's are and a what I assume to be homeless man came up to me, pointing to the selection and said: "You wanna get %*$( up...just remember Old Number 5" (or whatever that one is called that is close to that). He proceeded to say "Or Mississippi, Mud...that's good too"
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby Letang Is The Truth on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:24 pm

newarenanow wrote:If you could go back to any date in time and experience one day (and you will not screw up the future no matter how hard you try), what date would that be?


good question
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby JeffDFD on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:29 pm

newarenanow wrote:If you could go back to any date in time and experience one day (and you will not screw up the future no matter how hard you try), what date would that be?


Very difficult question...I don't even know where to begin.

A typical answer may include the religious route (whether people want to experience it or verify/disprove it)
A side of me wants to go historical (as long as I couldn't get hurt, there is D-Day as well as any other major battle or historical event in US or World history)

I think I will go personal and I would say August 26, 2005. Long story short, I was a few weeks away from death from an auto-immune liver disease and needed a transplant. That was the last day my eventual donor was conscious, before the car accident that took his live and saved mine. To be a fly on the wall, or to even just meet him at some point would be quite meaningful.


It just got really serious there.
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby mac5155 on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:32 pm

whoa yeah it did. :thumb: to that answer
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby newarenanow on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:35 pm

JeffDFD wrote:
newarenanow wrote:If you could go back to any date in time and experience one day (and you will not screw up the future no matter how hard you try), what date would that be?


Very difficult question...I don't even know where to begin.

A typical answer may include the religious route (whether people want to experience it or verify/disprove it)
A side of me wants to go historical (as long as I couldn't get hurt, there is D-Day as well as any other major battle or historical event in US or World history)

I think I will go personal and I would say August 26, 2005. Long story short, I was a few weeks away from death from an auto-immune liver disease and needed a transplant. That was the last day my eventual donor was conscious, before the car accident that took his live and saved mine. To be a fly on the wall, or to even just meet him at some point would be quite meaningful.


It just got really serious there.


:fist: Great answer. And yes, yes it did get serious in here.
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby JeffDFD on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:38 pm

mac5155 wrote:whoa yeah it did. :thumb: to that answer


I'm the one that said ask ANYTHING. Serious or funny.
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby redwill on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:39 pm

Liver transplant??

Holy Moley.

A thousand congrats for coming through that!
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby canaan on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:41 pm

redwill wrote:Liver transplant??

it explains his whimpy 40 newbness
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby JeffDFD on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:42 pm

redwill wrote:Liver transplant??

Holy Moley.

A thousand congrats for coming through that!


Yeah, pretty touch and go there for a while. What you experience physically when your liver fails can make you want to die if you let your mind slip. I am a rare bird...transplant at 21 is really rare.
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby JeffDFD on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:44 pm

canaan wrote:
redwill wrote:Liver transplant??

it explains his whimpy 40 newbness


Haha...I think I can honestly say that I would have not consumed many 40's even without the liver issues.

In any case, I guess I can refer you to some good liver docs in a few years...they will tell you to stop with that, though.
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby canaan on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:46 pm

JeffDFD wrote:
canaan wrote:
redwill wrote:Liver transplant??

it explains his whimpy 40 newbness


Haha...I think I can honestly say that I would have not consumed many 40's even without the liver issues.

In any case, I guess I can refer you to some good liver docs in a few years...they will tell you to stop with that, though.

:lol: :thumb:
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby thehockeyguru on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:51 pm

Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta $%^& one, marry one, kill one, go!
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby JeffDFD on Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:55 pm

thehockeyguru wrote:Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta $%^& one, marry one, kill one, go!


Marry my wife (I already did)
Kill Barbara Walters (she is almost dead anyway, right?)
#&*% Oprah (get her pregnant...???...profit)
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Re: Post 3,000 - Ask JeffDFD anything.

Postby mac5155 on Wed Oct 05, 2011 1:03 pm

JeffDFD wrote:
thehockeyguru wrote:Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta $%^& one, marry one, kill one, go!


Marry my wife (I already did)
Kill Barbara Walters (she is almost dead anyway, right?)
#&*% Oprah (get her pregnant...???...profit)


DID WE JUST BECOME BEST FRIENDS?
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