Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby newarenanow on Fri Jul 06, 2012 11:43 am

mac5155 wrote:As far as kids go.. I think 30 is a decent age to start. No way am I ready for kids yet. 30 seems right though.. that way you're not the oldest parent at their graduation but can still have fun with them when they are growing up.


Had my first kid at 31. I think it was a good time, although sometimes I wish I could have one earlier, but not too much earlier. Mainly because if you want more, you start getting into the 32, 34, 36 age range depending on how many you want. But again, there is no magic age.

But let me say this. Just from personal experience and knowing others, sometimes kids don't come when you want them to. And I'm not talking about the "mistakes". I know a ton of people that it took a year, 2 or even 3 of trying before they could concieve their first child, and some just gave up after years of trying. I've learned, there is a reason it's called a "miracle". It truly is, and sometimes it works timing it out, but a lot of the time, it is totally out of your control.
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby pittsoccer33 on Fri Jul 06, 2012 11:43 am

What scares me in general about this country is WHO is having kids. Even my married friends have no interest in it (or at least thats what they say when we're tailgating a Pitt game). We're all of above average success in life.

When I look on on facebook at the people I graduated with (or who were in my class and didn't graduate on time) they have several children. One girl is soliciting money to have her lights turned back on - and shes pregnant! What the hell could go on in someone's head to make them want to bring children into such an unstable home!?
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby doublem on Fri Jul 06, 2012 11:44 am

no thank you. I learned from my parents how big a deal it really is. It's not something I would ever do just to do. I just turned 25 I'm really looking to restart my own life right now.
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby newarenanow on Fri Jul 06, 2012 11:45 am

pittsoccer33 wrote:What scares me in general about this country is WHO is having kids. Even my married friends have no interest in it (or at least thats what they say when we're tailgating a Pitt game). We're all of above average success in life.

When I look on on facebook at the people I graduated with (or who were in my class and didn't graduate on time) they have several children. One girl is soliciting money to have her lights turned back on - and shes pregnant! What the hell could go on in someone's head to make them want to bring children into such an unstable home!?


Did you ever see the movie Idiocracy?
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby Eismann on Fri Jul 06, 2012 11:48 am

canaan wrote:
Eismann wrote:You also should be moving into the 'I have this friend...' territory where your married friends will be linking you with other similarly-situated people in their sphere (work, relatives, etc.), and that's not a bad thing. Plus, making new friends with married folk (at club, sports, whatev) is a good way to grease that referral engine. Join some clubs, do some new sports.

"networking for booty"


And the corollary: "Don't take a skank to the bank." (i.e., don't marry the next piece of thang because you think you'll never be married)
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby meow on Fri Jul 06, 2012 11:52 am

KennyTheKangaroo wrote:
meow wrote:Get a dog


kenny the kangaroo thought that was a great idea, then made the choice of adopting a colassal a-hole for a dog. she loves her owner, but the rest of the world....not so much.

You know, they say that dogs often reflect their owner's feelings/thoughts toward certain people...
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby shmenguin on Fri Jul 06, 2012 11:53 am

started dating my wife at 27. married at 29. baby due in a couple months (at 31). for her, it was 23 - 25 -27.

i have no advice on how to meet someone since i sucked at it before her, and the only reason i was able to get this relationship going was because she moved in right next door in my apt building. my story is one of luck. i think a lot of them are. that's either comforting or terrifying, depending. i'll say this though...the day before we met, i was pretty certain i was going to wind up a miserable old hermit. that changed overnight. so listen to kevin garnett. he has good points.
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby rasbatch on Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:04 pm

shmenguin wrote:started dating my wife at 27. married at 29. baby due in a couple months (at 31). for her, it was 23 - 25 -27.

i have no advice on how to meet someone since i sucked at it before her, and the only reason i was able to get this relationship going was because she moved in right next door in my apt building. my story is one of luck. i think a lot of them are. that's either comforting or terrifying, depending. i'll say this though...the day before we met, i was pretty certain i was going to wind up a miserable old hermit. that changed overnight. so listen to kevin garnett. he has good points.

Dude don't give up on your hermit dreams, there's still plenty of time.
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby meecrofilm on Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:04 pm

newarenanow wrote:
pittsoccer33 wrote:What scares me in general about this country is WHO is having kids. Even my married friends have no interest in it (or at least thats what they say when we're tailgating a Pitt game). We're all of above average success in life.

When I look on on facebook at the people I graduated with (or who were in my class and didn't graduate on time) they have several children. One girl is soliciting money to have her lights turned back on - and shes pregnant! What the hell could go on in someone's head to make them want to bring children into such an unstable home!?


Did you ever see the movie Idiocracy?


That was my first thought as well, hahah
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby KennyTheKangaroo on Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:10 pm

meow wrote:
KennyTheKangaroo wrote:
meow wrote:Get a dog


kenny the kangaroo thought that was a great idea, then made the choice of adopting a colassal a-hole for a dog. she loves her owner, but the rest of the world....not so much.

You know, they say that dogs often reflect their owner's feelings/thoughts toward certain people...


nah. she was dealt a bad hand before she was adopted. shes lightened up a lot in the 3+ years she has been around, but kenny the kangaroo is much more socialable than the beardog.
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby meow on Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:11 pm

pittsoccer33 wrote:What scares me in general about this country is WHO is having kids. Even my married friends have no interest in it (or at least thats what they say when we're tailgating a Pitt game). We're all of above average success in life.

When I look on on facebook at the people I graduated with (or who were in my class and didn't graduate on time) they have several children. One girl is soliciting money to have her lights turned back on - and shes pregnant! What the hell could go on in someone's head to make them want to bring children into such an unstable home!?

Don't worry about that kid, you'll take care of him with your tax dollars.
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby PghSkins on Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:21 pm

pittsoccer33 wrote: A buddy has a theory for this - that it's a midwestern kind of idea, starting a family young.


Pittsburgh is at heart a Midwestern city (Might be why I hate Philly but not Cleveland- besides not being a Steeler fan and not having the Browns rivalry to get riled about). So I kind of agree.

That said, I got married at 25 but we didn't have kids until 29. It's funny to think about our kids' friends' parents... my oldest is 12 years old, he has a friend whose parents are pushing 60, if not there already- closer to my parents' age than mine. My youngest is 4 and has a friend whose Mom is probably 25- closer to my oldest kid's age than mine.

I guess my point is- there's no right or wrong answer. Good friend of mine got married at 37 and they are a great couple. Just took him awhile to find the right one.
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby Hockeynut! on Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:28 pm

pittsoccer33 wrote:So, I'm trying to come to terms with what being single approaching my 30s means.


It means you're intelligent.
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby mac5155 on Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:29 pm

Hockeynut! wrote:
pittsoccer33 wrote:So, I'm trying to come to terms with what being single approaching my 30s means.


It means you're intelligent.


If you find a decent woman that has a nice job, that second income is ballin.
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby doublem on Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:30 pm

clearly a good reason.
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby Rylan on Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:34 pm

I want to be a gold digger. Seems like fun.
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby pittsoccer33 on Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:35 pm

mac5155 wrote:
Hockeynut! wrote:
pittsoccer33 wrote:So, I'm trying to come to terms with what being single approaching my 30s means.


It means you're intelligent.


If you find a decent woman that has a nice job, that second income is ballin.


I lived with my last girlfriend for over a year - she's got a great job and had debt considerations.

But we completely kept our income separate, and I think I'd want to do that with a wife. She'd give me a hard time about things I wanted to buy sometimes, and I don't ever want someone telling me I can't have a new motorcycle because we need fancy pots and pans.
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby Hockeynut! on Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:38 pm

pittsoccer33 wrote:I think I'd want to do that with a wife. She'd give me a hard time about things I wanted to buy sometimes, and I don't ever want someone telling me I can't have a new motorcycle because we need fancy pots and pans.


Yeah, you really aren't ready to get married... :lol:
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby shmenguin on Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:43 pm

just upgraded my DSLR camera. had to do it before the baby comes home in a couple months. i somehow got sign-off on this from the wife. it's probably the last "toy" i'll buy for a loooong time.
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby Hockeynut! on Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:45 pm

shmenguin wrote:just upgraded my DSLR camera. had to do it before the baby comes home in a couple months. i somehow got sign-off on this from the wife. it's probably the last "toy" i'll buy for a loooong time.


OT: What did you buy?
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby blackjack68 on Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:46 pm

Hockeynut! wrote:
pittsoccer33 wrote:I think I'd want to do that with a wife. She'd give me a hard time about things I wanted to buy sometimes, and I don't ever want someone telling me I can't have a new motorcycle because we need fancy pots and pans.


Yeah, you really aren't ready to get married... :lol:


yup.
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby pittsoccer33 on Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:51 pm

well the better question is - why would you want someone telling you what you can and can't do with the money you earn or with the free time you find for yourself?

my friend Liz writes a blog called West Coast West and she just had a pretty interesting take on it last week - that once you live alone (which I did right out of college first in Hoboken and then in Pittsburgh for several years) it becomes really really hard to want to compromise your freedom.
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby newarenanow on Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:51 pm

pittsoccer33 wrote:
But we completely kept our income separate, and I think I'd want to do that with a wife. She'd give me a hard time about things I wanted to buy sometimes, and I don't ever want someone telling me I can't have a new motorcycle because we need fancy pots and pans.


You should probably continue to stay single for a little while longer. :D
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby newarenanow on Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:55 pm

pittsoccer33 wrote:well the better question is - why would you want someone telling you what you can and can't do with the money you earn or with the free time you find for yourself?

my friend Liz writes a blog called West Coast West and she just had a pretty interesting take on it last week - that once you live alone (which I did right out of college first in Hoboken and then in Pittsburgh for several years) it becomes really really hard to want to compromise your freedom.


To me, marriage is a partnership. When you join a partnership, whether it's marriage, in business, or whatever, you work with that partner to make decisions as a whole.

I disagree with people that are "whipped" and can't do anything, but at the same time, I understand why you need to make decisions, especially larger ones, and have to compromise on some things.

If you want complete and total freedom, then stay single. Or find someone that has the same views as you and will go off and spend whatever she wants at anytime, and go does whatever she wants whenever.

That is the only way it will work.
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Re: Friday Discussion - Getting Married Young

Postby Digitalgypsy66 on Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:58 pm

I married my wife shortly after my 30th birthday, she was a young lass of 29. To be honest, I am glad I didn't marry in my early 20s. I don't even speak to most of the people I called my friends back then now!

I grew so much between 20-30, my attitudes about almost everything shifted, and I am a different person than I was way back then.

But to each their own.


Canaan: I'll be getting your spawn a Zune for a gift. What color would you like?
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