Starting my Big Boy Job

[Sam's Drunk Dog]

Then bake it into a jello mold.

[Tico Rick]

Between this thread and the Chipotle thread, I'm in tears!

[meow]

Bring donuts. (This is in case you are starting at my company)

[FreeCandy44]

Always befriend the craziest person in your office. What could go wrong?

[npv708]

ALWAYS PUT A COVER ON YOUR TPS REPORT

[npv708]

Always befriend the craziest person in your office. What could go wrong?

This is terrible advice. I'm already friends with myself.

[npv708]

Don't have sex with cleaning lady on your desk.

I mean, it just makes more work for her afterwards, and that's just rude.

[Lt. Dish]

ALWAYS PUT A COVER ON YOUR TPS REPORT

Keep an eye out for a memo on this.

[Eismann]

Then bake it into a jello mold.

Ask a female exec if the carpet matches the drapes.

[ulf]

We have a new guy starting tomorrow..

[FreeCandy44]

Always make sexual advances to your boss be it man or woman.

[Lt. Dish]

We have a new guy starting tomorrow..

What is your workplace's policy on hazing?

[FreeCandy44]

I've been at my office for almost 2 weeks now, and im willing to bet maybe 5 people know my name or that I can talk.

[ulf]

We have a new guy starting tomorrow..

What is your workplace's policy on hazing?

Are you saying normal offices have policies for that kind of stuff?

[mac5155]

I've been at my office for almost 2 weeks now, and im willing to bet maybe 5 people know my name or that I can talk.

I know, I'm still in the introductory period in my job where I'm not sure if I can join their conversations or not yet.

[Lt. Dish]

We have a new guy starting tomorrow..

What is your workplace's policy on hazing?

Are you saying normal offices have policies for that kind of stuff?

Ostensibly, yes. Ideally, yes.

(Seriously, there had better be.)

[FreeCandy44]

I eat lunch in my car everyday. So I guess im not putting forth much of an effort to get noticed.

[Lt. Dish]

Be proactive with the people that are respected in your company and figure out what makes them tick. Find a mentor fast.

On a serious note, this is must-follow advice. Didn't want it to go unnoticed.

[ExPatriatePen]

This is my new favorite thread....

Be on the lookout for the red stapler

[FreeCandy44]

Introduce yourself to all your coworkers while doing your best BANE impression.

[Kaizer]

Introduce yourself to all your coworkers while doing your best BANE impression.

do this.

[FreeCandy44]

God I love his voice.

[Mr. Colby]

I just want everybody to know that I couldn't have dreamed this thread going any better than it has so far...

my stress level has lowered due to some of these comments

[Mr. Colby]

Don't have sex with cleaning lady on your desk.

I mean, it just makes more work for her afterwards, and that's just rude.

This post wins so far

[Mr. Colby]

One thing i did that no one suggested - get absolutely rocked on a Thursday night - something I probably won't be able to do for a few months or longer