Fighting Back: Updated

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Fighting Back: Updated

Postby RxBandit66 on Wed Jan 23, 2013 1:59 pm

I'm sure some of you on here have gone through the pain of a divorce, and have also had a string of bad breaks. Back in April/May I discovered that my wife of five years (who I was with for nearly ten years) was cheating with multiple men and leading a double life. Since she worked shifts, it was easy for her to accomplish this. Around the same time, my Grandfather (and hero) passed away. Also, my mentor teacher died of cancer, my best friend moved out of state, my cousin who I'm very close to was shipped overseas to serve the country, and I tore two knee ligaments playing sports and was hobbled for most of last summer.

During this lockout, my life has been a story of recovery and personal strength. Having lost nearly everything I had previously known, I now watch the Penguins at a different house, with people I didn't even know during last season. It was tempting to give up, or to take a dark path. But I learned to fight, and to appreciate the things I did have. So if you are faced with adversity, defeat, loss, or personal tragedy, never lose focus on what is important in life. Every day is a holiday, every meal is a banquet.


UPDATE: Since this is New Year's Eve, it's appropriate now that I can update my story. It's been about a year and a half since my divorce, which was made final this past spring. I'm currently engaged to the woman I've been with now for a little over a year. We'll be married in summer 2014. I sold my old house and purchased a fixer-upper for us to live in, and I'm in the process of remodeling the entire house, and nearly all of that is complete. Because of the downsizing, I've got very little debt, and my finances have completely recovered. As for my friends, I've made new ones, kept a few of the old....the ones closest to me. Most importantly, I've learned so much about life, and about myself. Many of the comments made to me on here were taken to heart, and ironically now I'm helping my best friend through a separation. Thanks again for all the advice and kind words. Every little piece of encouragement I got along the way helped to make my new journey a successful one. The ability of our hearts and minds to recover and to heal is remarkable.

Happy New Year to LGP, with hopes that 2014 brings all of us the very best.
Last edited by RxBandit66 on Tue Dec 31, 2013 9:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby blackjack68 on Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:04 pm

Some people choose the path of darkness and defeat.

Cheers to you for fighting and emerging better.
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby newarenanow on Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:05 pm

Sorry to hear. Seems like you are going down the right path though. And overtime, the pain will go away.

Hang in there!
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby Pitts on Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:05 pm

Good for you. Life is what you make it. Too many people do not understand that simple fact.
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby mac5155 on Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:05 pm

:thumb:
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby Froggy on Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:06 pm

Well said, dude
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby KennyTheKangaroo on Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:11 pm

just like tom joad said, sometimes you just gotta lay one foot down in front of the other
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby stinky on Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:16 pm

Agreed, Cheers to you.

To quote my favorite Bad A## leader of the 20th century “If you’re going through hell, keep going".
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby Rylan on Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:31 pm

Glad to see your going the right way. Kudos.
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby RxBandit66 on Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:37 pm

Thank you, all of your comments are much appreciated. It's like I'm a completely different person now. In our society, many people refuse to take responsibility for their actions, and want to lay blame on someone/something else. But in reality, sometimes bad things just happen.
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby SolidSnake on Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:38 pm

newarenanow wrote:Sorry to hear. Seems like you are going down the right path though. And overtime, the pain will go away.

Hang in there!

This Things will get better
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby llipgh2 on Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:41 pm

RxBandit66 wrote:Thank you, all of your comments are much appreciated. It's like I'm a completely different person now. In our society, many people refuse to take responsibility for their actions, and want to lay blame on someone/something else. But in reality, sometimes bad things just happen.


This.

Much success on your new journey.
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby RxBandit66 on Wed Jan 23, 2013 2:47 pm

llipgh2 wrote:
RxBandit66 wrote:Thank you, all of your comments are much appreciated. It's like I'm a completely different person now. In our society, many people refuse to take responsibility for their actions, and want to lay blame on someone/something else. But in reality, sometimes bad things just happen.


This.

Much success on your new journey.


Thanks, and for sure this new journey will involve quite a few trips to Consol Energy Center.
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby doublem on Thu Jan 24, 2013 2:14 am

I knew this. I lost pretty much everything in my life, it's not cool.
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby ville5 on Thu Jan 24, 2013 5:04 am

Good Lord, that's one hell of a dark cloud. But stay strong and good luck. Take advantage of your freedom. Nearly all people in committed relationships drift away from things that they enjoy. Or never get around to things theyve always wanted to experience. Nows your chance. But you definitely have the right attitude to get through this.
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby DocEmrick on Thu Jan 24, 2013 7:15 am

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Re: Fighting Back

Postby RxBandit66 on Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:02 pm

ville5 wrote:Good Lord, that's one hell of a dark cloud. But stay strong and good luck. Take advantage of your freedom. Nearly all people in committed relationships drift away from things that they enjoy. Or never get around to things theyve always wanted to experience. Nows your chance. But you definitely have the right attitude to get through this.


This is so true. I had been on the verge of becoming a professional bowler prior to my marriage. She never got into it, so I gave it up about 5 years ago. It may seem insignificant, but one of the first things I did after my knee healed was to pick up a ball again and join a league this past fall. I threw a perfect game in November, my first one in 8 years.

It's funny how much people can change without even realizing it. And they will stay in unhappy relationships because somehow it feels comfortable to them. I'm just thankful that I went through this at 34 rather than 44 or 54.
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby MRandall25 on Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:30 pm

Are you going to try to make a comeback and go for the PBA?
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby Pitt87 on Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:32 pm

RxBandit66 wrote:
ville5 wrote:Good Lord, that's one hell of a dark cloud. But stay strong and good luck. Take advantage of your freedom. Nearly all people in committed relationships drift away from things that they enjoy. Or never get around to things theyve always wanted to experience. Nows your chance. But you definitely have the right attitude to get through this.


This is so true. I had been on the verge of becoming a professional bowler prior to my marriage. She never got into it, so I gave it up about 5 years ago. It may seem insignificant, but one of the first things I did after my knee healed was to pick up a ball again and join a league this past fall. I threw a perfect game in November, my first one in 8 years.

It's funny how much people can change without even realizing it. And they will stay in unhappy relationships because somehow it feels comfortable to them. I'm just thankful that I went through this at 34 rather than 44 or 54.


I couldn't agree more. It seems so clear, in hindsight, when you just weren't in the right place in your life. When you get back to the things you love, you become more 'you' than ever before and pour yourself into them.

You'll be a better man as a result of your experiences.
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby Lt. Dish on Thu Jan 24, 2013 11:32 pm

"There is no education like adversity."
-Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881)

I applaud you for your generosity in sharing your lessons as well as for your perseverance and introspection. Thank you, and all best wishes to you.
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby Kaizer on Thu Jan 24, 2013 11:38 pm

the OP reminds me of arnold in predator, at the end when he yells at the predator to come fight.



bring it on.
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby RxBandit66 on Fri Jan 25, 2013 12:32 pm

Lt. Dish wrote:"There is no education like adversity."
-Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881)

I applaud you for your generosity in sharing your lessons as well as for your perseverance and introspection. Thank you, and all best wishes to you.


That was my intention, with every hope of providing anyone who reads this with a word of encouragement that this type of thing can be overcome. There are few things more difficult than to work very hard for something, to get where you are and be happy with that, and to have it basically destroyed. But just like that kid who builds a sandcastle on the beach and then watches in horror as the tide destroys it, by his very nature he picks up the shovel and bucket and starts building another one. Only this time he builds it further back where the tide can't reach it. Lesson learned.
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby Rylan on Fri Jan 25, 2013 12:41 pm

Well said.
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby The Snapshot on Fri Jan 25, 2013 5:41 pm

RX - I applaud you for your resolve. You faced a string of events that many would have folded under. It really is a case of "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". The fact that you chose to move forward and not bury yourself in pills, the bottle or any other of a myriad of self defeating solutions is a real testament to you.

Your ex-wife obviously has issues, and whether or not you choose to ever forgive her is up to you, but if you have the kind of character to stand in the face of all those things - then she is truly sad for not realizing what she had (or for not being able to be happy in that situation).

Every day will no doubt get better, and hopefully the people you choose to get closer to in your strengthened sense of resolve and self worth will create an even better support system for you. Remember those that you have lost who were worthy of you, and forget those that were not.

To turn the old saying around - "it's not me, it's you."
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Re: Fighting Back

Postby The Snapshot on Fri Jan 25, 2013 5:44 pm

RxBandit66 wrote:Only this time he builds it further back where the tide can't reach it. Lesson learned.


Just don't build it so far back that you can't get the water to pack it firmer. Take risks. Love life and trust who you believe you can. Sometimes judgement fails us and we get burned, but you still are warmer near the fire.
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