It isn't always about standing up for yourself and finding good in the abuser. Were this to go to trial, this woman would be put on the stand and tried by the public eye. We're talking about the intimate details of her life in full public view. And not just what happened that night--we're talking about her entire sexual history, previous partners, stories that may or may not be true, disgusting lies meant to make her look bad. It's a courtroom, not a truth palace. A lawyer will do everything he can to break down the witness' credibility, and that entails dredging up dirt (again, true or false) in order to incite a negative response (tears, humiliation, etc.).
You're also asking the witness to relive a harrowing experience, to tell a bunch of strangers about that time you may have been assaulted by the one person you trusted the most. It's all well and good to tell a person to stand up for themselves, but not everyone wants to sit in the same room as someone who beat the crap out of them and then get the told that you're lying, that you caused this, that it's all a story and you should be happy to have what you have. Hell, the person that did this to you is the victim and you should be sorry for all of the pain that you've caused him/her.
Hopefully the truth comes out and the guilty party is punished accordingly, and the innocent individual gets to move on with his or her life without the stigma of public derision.