Wedding Planning Thread

[mac5155]

We have a venue and a caterer. Caterer is my old neighbor and former employer so I understand how he works.

Getting our own alcohol fa sho. Here's the venue.

http://www.barnatligoniervalley.com/

Late to the thread...

Are yinz from Ligonier? Awesome little town. I went to school at Ligonier. I've been to a few weddings at your venue too.

No, I'm from Scottdale, she's from Connellsville but moved to Scottdale around age 9

[Letang Is The Truth]

i have no idea where those places are

[skullman80]

My fiance and I are keeping a budget of under 10k for our wedding. We refuse to go into debt for the wedding.

[mac5155]

i have no idea where those places are

Most people don't. Population less than 4,000 in scottdale and surrounding townships.

[count2infinity]

So the GF and I are now engaged, so we're starting the planning. We both decided we wanted a small (150 max and sub 100 ideally) wedding. We decided on just immediate family, aunts, uncles, and 1st cousins and then some friends from there. Well as it turns out we both have large families so we're above our 150 limit just at moms, dads, grandparents, aunts uncles and 1st cousins. Anyone have any tips on how to invite the people we really need to invite, but possibly have them not show up? We both have cousins and aunts/uncles that we don't particularly like, but feel obliged to invite.

[steve784]

So the GF and I are now engaged, so we're starting the planning. We both decided we wanted a small (150 max and sub 100 ideally) wedding. We decided on just immediate family, aunts, uncles, and 1st cousins and then some friends from there. Well as it turns out we both have large families so we're above our 150 limit just at moms, dads, grandparents, aunts uncles and 1st cousins. Anyone have any tips on how to invite the people we really need to invite, but possibly have them not show up? We both have cousins and aunts/uncles that we don't particularly like, but feel obliged to invite.

Lolololol I wish I knew......same deal.

[count2infinity]

I'm thinking send out save the date cards to the people I actually want there and then invitations to everyone really close to the event?

[Shyster]

So the GF and I are now engaged, so we're starting the planning. We both decided we wanted a small (150 max and sub 100 ideally) wedding. We decided on just immediate family, aunts, uncles, and 1st cousins and then some friends from there. Well as it turns out we both have large families so we're above our 150 limit just at moms, dads, grandparents, aunts uncles and 1st cousins. Anyone have any tips on how to invite the people we really need to invite, but possibly have them not show up? We both have cousins and aunts/uncles that we don't particularly like, but feel obliged to invite.

The lowest price I see for two round-trip tickets to Vegas is $381.20. How does that compare to the cost of that wedding, eh?

[count2infinity]

we thought about that shyster. actually had an extensive conversation about it, but there are far too many people that we want to be there and they outweigh those that we don't want there but feel obligated to invited.

[Shyster]

Once you start getting into inviting classes of people (first cousins, for example) merely for the sake of inviting that class, I think it would be difficult to not invite everyone in that class. I would only invite lineal family members (parents, grandparents) and siblings. If you want an excuse for limiting it to those circles, then send everyone else a letter telling them how sorry you are about not inviting them, but in light of the uncertainty with the present economy it’s simply not possible to hold the scale of wedding you would like to hold, and instead you both plan on putting the extra money into a house down payment or something.

I was invited to maybe half of my first cousins’ weddings. And for two of the ones that did, I was there because they asked me to do them a favor by doing things like park cars or transport stuff. I don’t feel slighted by the ones who didn’t invite me.

[count2infinity]

the problem is we are close to some of our first cousins, but not others. we want some kids to be there but not all kids to be there. is it wrong to invite some first cousins, but not others?

[viva la ben]

I was in the same boat C2I as I had over 20 first cousins on my side of the family.
When I got married we didnt invite people we didnt want there

[count2infinity]

When I got married we didnt invite people we didnt want there

I'd love to do that, but then there's the awkward family reunion where people are pissed at you because they didn't get the invite. We'll likely end up just biting the bullet and inviting the people anyways.

[viva la ben]

Truth be told some of the uninvited first cousins lived across the country. I only heard through my mom that one was not happy about not getting an invitation. Last time i saw him was about 5-6 years before i got married.

[columbia]

Just go to Vegas.

[count2infinity]

like i said, vegas was discussed, but we both want to have our day in the spotlight so to speak.

I think the biggest problem is the aunts and uncles who we don't like have a ton (4 or 5) of kids that we don't like either. The ones we do like only have 1 or 2 kids.

[columbia]

I think it's perfectly ok to have 50 guests and call it a day.
You don't want to be paying this off for next 20 years, especially if you ever plan to have kids.

[count2infinity]

we've saved money and her mother has offered to match the amount that we put toward the wedding. we refuse to take out any loans or something silly like that for a wedding. Having it in State College will certainly help to save as almost everything seems to be cheaper here when compared to the Pittsburgh area. If anyone has experience with a way to invite people but to not have them show up, please let me know. lol

[shmenguin]

the problem is we are close to some of our first cousins, but not others. we want some kids to be there but not all kids to be there. is it wrong to invite some first cousins, but not others?

There's nothing wrong with that. But oldies like your aunts and uncles will probably get bent out of shape - moreso than the slighted cousins.

[Shyster]

we've saved money and her mother has offered to match the amount that we put toward the wedding. we refuse to take out any loans or something silly like that for a wedding. Having it in State College will certainly help to save as almost everything seems to be cheaper here when compared to the Pittsburgh area. If anyone has experience with a way to invite people but to not have them show up, please let me know. lol

Hold the wedding someplace where air fare for one person to get there is at least $2,000. That should keep many invitees away.

[count2infinity]

but then that bumps up the costs for us. lol. am I trying to have my cake and eat it too?

[KennyTheKangaroo]

kenny the kangaroo's sister is go ing through the same problems that c2i is going through. she doesn't want to deal with the various family dramas that have unfolded and she does not want the guest list to baloon out of hand (i.e. friends of the family). she would also prefer to use all that extra $$$ on a house down payment instead of having more and more guests.

guest lists must be tough to manage.

[meow]

I'm getting married in the middle of October. We were in the same boat you are c2i. Basically, we invited who we want and didn't invite anyone we didn't. If some aunt that I never talk to gets mad she wasn't invited, oh well. Maybe if there were a bigger part of your life they'd be closer to you and get invited. If someone gets upset about not getting an invite, go pound sand.

[mac5155]

My Moms direct family alone (my aunts/uncles/1st cousins) was at like 80. Im SOL.

A way to manage it would be to make it adult only. That way, no kids, and not everyone will want to come. That's what we're doing.

[meow]

A way to manage it would be to make it adult only. That way, no kids, and not everyone will want to come. That's what we're doing.

We did this as well.