canaan wrote:can we do a Solzhenitsyn-esque, post-apocalyptic, walmart-as-gubmit territorial zombie saga in the same vein as i am legend, but with a giant yellow zombie smiley as the antagonist? no? fine. im still in.
canaan wrote:our problems have come when people don't know how to progress the story and do the "skip me" spiel.
Prologue wrote:The year is 2356. The world, after decades of political strife, is left with a jaded civilization. No one laughs. There is no room for light-heartedness in such a dark, depressing world. In the remote valleys of New Zealand, however, a small, unfunded pack of archolologists seek out to bring a humorous light to the world desperately in need of a smile.
Franz' Report -- September 4th, 2356 wrote:Spencer,
Artifact 1A had a significant amount of a sticky residue caking the earth to its shaft. The HEPA vacuum malfunctioned and blew up in one of the worker's faces. We worried for his safety. We used the soft bristle brushes we talked about earlier, After a quick light wash with a damp terry cloth, the residue quickly wore away from the piece. We have also unearthed 87 black oval seeds that contain the same residue. After an ancillary inspection, we've concluded the seeds to be some type of a watermelon seed--very strange.
Onto the dimensions of the Artifact 1A: The shaft, pending an official testing, seems to be made of a solid oak, not native to this region. The inscription on the bottom of the 27.5" shaft is incomplete. What we have deciphered is minimal at best. "G _ _ L(?) _ _ H E _" is all we could figure out on the first line and the 2nd line is much worse. We are only sure of "-O-" is legible, and we are not sure if the 'O' is a number or a letter. Perhaps you can do better. The "head" of the piece, what we are calling "the block" is a wooden cube, unsure of its origin, measuring 9 inches in length, 4 inches in height, and 4 inches in width. Official weight is unknown, but the piece has a considerable load. On a most base level, It is safe to presume the artifact is a mallet of some sort, but it looks as if it could also be a part of a bigger machine.
Injury Report: 2 pit workers were deemed unfit to work the 2nd shift of the day when they both, in unison, slipped on the outer coverings of their bananas and fell face first into a pile of the worker mule's defecations. We do not suspect their injuries to be long-term. The on-site medic released them shortly before the end of their shifts. We do not anticipate them to miss tonight's shift.
Talk to you this evening,
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