Thread of Love 3.0

[Sarcastic]

Well, if we're talking about a heiney like on Sophie Turner, I don't see why not. Google her up.

[canaan]

EPP. You got me thinking now. Cuddle time decreases in many marriages. Why the hell is that? Is it because people let themselves go and they're not attractive anymore?

i think a lot of it comes down to poor life and time management. People waste so much time and energy worrying about things they cant control, work, the kids, etc, that they neglect setting aside time to "work" on the bonds of marriage. they tire themselves out on small issues theyve made big priorities in life that they dont take time to comfort, decompress, and appreciate their spouse. when they go to bed, they sleep. they make non-burdens into burdens. your wife, husband, partner whatever turns into an adversary when you dont take time to share your stresses, but take out your stresses on your spouse.

[Sarcastic]

Great point, canaan.

[Sarcastic]

It's difficult. Life makes it difficult. It's what my friend was talking about.

[BigMcK]

I'm single for the first time in 26 years. Where do I start? Maybe the Nabisco counter girl's mother? Dating sites? Grocery store? I work from home so that isn't an option. EPP, where do us over 40 people find woman? Someone told me join a yoga class. I recently learned the acronym gilf.

Just grab a girl's ass. If she slaps you she's not interested.

1. grab the booty
2. inhale deeply
3. exhale while saying "breathtaking" much like goldust used to do in the WWF
4. ????
5. Profit

1A. ensure dental insurance payments are up-to-date and chicklet replacement is included. Proceed to 1.

[canaan]

yeah, i make it a point to set aside a little time just to joke or have some nonsense time with the wife. joke about whats getting you riled up, no matter how difficult that might be. sit next to each other on the couch if you are watching tv, not on separate seats...even if its not as comfortable. do something simple she does most of the time...even separating the laundry goes a long way. do it and dont point out that you did it.

a big thing now is when i get home, i take the baby and play for at least an hour. it gives her time to stuff she wanted to do all day, even if it is loading the dishwasher or talking to a friend/family member on the phone.

smaller pebbles make a smoother gravel driveway.

[Factorial]

EPP. You got me thinking now. Cuddle time decreases in many marriages. Why the hell is that? Is it because people let themselves go and they're not attractive anymore?

i think a lot of it comes down to poor life and time management. People waste so much time and energy worrying about things they cant control, work, the kids, etc, that they neglect setting aside time to "work" on the bonds of marriage. they tire themselves out on small issues theyve made big priorities in life that they dont take time to comfort, decompress, and appreciate their spouse. when they go to bed, they sleep. they make non-burdens into burdens. your wife, husband, partner whatever turns into an adversary when you dont take time to share your stresses, but take out your stresses on your spouse.

I won't argue with this but when you are with someone for 26 years sometimes certain burdens can't be overcome.

[Froggy]

If I was 100% sold on marriage, right now, I'd either still be stuck with someone who made me miserable, or somehow even poorer than I am now after a divorce.

Let me ask you a question, if I may. Were you guys wrong for each other from the start or did you just somehow end up screwing it up? I find this stuff interesting because I see a lot of couples get together for wrong reasons. Then the wonder why it didn't work.

It was good, and then a few years later, it wasn't. You don't usually see people spend 7 years of their 20's together, and stay single.

[BigMcK]

Isn't money issues the number reason cited as reason for divorce?

[canaan]

I won't argue with this but when you are with someone for 26 years sometimes certain burdens can't be overcome.

no doubt and im speaking with relatively meager experience. ive been with my wife for 6 years, married for two and a half. and not all relationships are meant to be longlasting, even if that was the intention from the starting line. you also have to make difficult, intelligent decisions to notice and take action when the relationship isnt sustainable. the only thing worse than staying in bad relationship headed towards failure is to lie to yourself thinking that its something you have to stay with because of marriage, children, social/familial pressure, etc.

[Rylan]

I was talking to a friend of mine recently and he flat out said it's too difficult. He goes to his friends' homes and the wife's annoying and the kids are screaming and he says to hell with it. Money problems. I can see that side of the argument. Couple that with the fact close to 50% of marriages break up. I mean, it's sometimes not that easy to have a truly happy marriage. Many are more like a business relationship. Couples who go through the motions because they're already married.

That is completely incorrect.

That number comes from a (I am rounding to whole numbers) 2 million marriages per yer versus 1 million divorces per year. The reason that is a flawed stat is because the one million divorces do not come from the 2 million marriages. They come from the marriages of previous years. Thus, that is a completely wrong thing.

[bhaw]

That's why I always figured that friendship is a requirement for a relationship. Maybe more than anything. I'll never forget a friend of mine refer to his new wife as "ball and chain" and he meant it, not like he was kidding. I think we were talking about going somewhere and he didn't really want to take her. I didn't say anything but thought to myself, why the hell did you marry her. You have to like the person you're with and you have to want to spend time with them.

IMO, the friendship part is needed to get through tough times. It's easy to get through the "storybook" times with anyone. But when the going gets tough and everyone is at their boiling points, the friendship will get you through.

From those that know my story from past threads, my wife and I went through a really tough year or so where I am 100% that had we not been best friends as well as spouses, we'd be divorced. It makes you stronger and gives you reason to push through.

[Pavel Bure]

referencing the little mermaid to express a point about making a move. not sure if impressed or weirded out.

Disney taught me everything I need to know about getting chics. Especially this guy.

[canaan]

taught me everything i know.

[ExPatriatePen]

And here I thought it was these guys:

[Gabe]

That's why I always figured that friendship is a requirement for a relationship. Maybe more than anything. I'll never forget a friend of mine refer to his new wife as "ball and chain" and he meant it, not like he was kidding. I think we were talking about going somewhere and he didn't really want to take her. I didn't say anything but thought to myself, why the hell did you marry her. You have to like the person you're with and you have to want to spend time with them.

IMO, the friendship part is needed to get through tough times. It's easy to get through the "storybook" times with anyone. But when the going gets tough and everyone is at their boiling points, the friendship will get you through.

From those that know my story from past threads, my wife and I went through a really tough year or so where I am 100% that had we not been best friends as well as spouses, we'd be divorced. It makes you stronger and gives you reason to push through.

This. If you want a marriage to work, you are going to have to work at it. There are going to be times where you really don't feel like staying with the person that is annoying/betraying/arguing with you. If you are married to a person though that you can share other interests and be friends with, it will make those times a lot easier.

[Lt. Dish]

Isn't money issues the number reason cited as reason for divorce?

Likely that and kid-related issues: Differing expectations on having, raising, and disciplining kids and concomitant household roles.

JMO, but I don't think nearly enough couples really talk about this before they get married.

[ExPatriatePen]

Isn't money issues the number reason cited as reason for divorce?

Likely that and kid-related issues: Differing expectations on having, raising, and disciplining kids and concomitant household roles.

JMO, but I don't think nearly enough couples really talk about this before they get married.

Hell most couples don't talk enough about after they get married and have kids

[Lt. Dish]

Isn't money issues the number reason cited as reason for divorce?

Likely that and kid-related issues: Differing expectations on having, raising, and disciplining kids and concomitant household roles.

JMO, but I don't think nearly enough couples really talk about this before they get married.

Hell most couples don't talk enough about after they get married and have kids

Yep, for sure...

I've never, ever understood it. How do you shirk (or intentionally evade) having that conversation?

[shmenguin]

If you want a marriage to work, you are going to have to work at it.

Vehemently disgree.

Marriage is easy as hell for me

[ExPatriatePen]

If you want a marriage to work, you are going to have to work at it.

Vehemently disgree.

Marriage is easy as hell for me

Yeah, cause your better half does all of the work.

Not all of us are married to a saint.

[shafnutz05]

If you want a marriage to work, you are going to have to work at it.

Vehemently disgree.

Marriage is easy as hell for me

Eh, I guess I'm lucky, but I agree with you. My wife and I get along to an almost incredible degree. Granted, it helps that she enjoys beer, fantasy football, action movies, etc, but the idea of "working on my marriage" hasn't even crossed my mind. Then again, it's only been 3.5 years

[skullman80]

I look at people like my grandparents, who have been married for 65 years or so and hope that's what marriage is like for me. They are the two perfect people for each other and it shows even after all these years.

[pittsoccer33]

four friends got engaged this weekend. im the last man standing.

[JS©]

four friends got engaged this weekend. im the last man standing.

four? this weekend?