Thread of Love 3.0

[Pavel Bure]

Bioshock and other pity party wonder kids. You were in a long term relationship now you're not. I'm pretty sure you still wake up daily, you still function, you still have friends. Whether you have a g/f or not, whether you're over them or not, whether you're putting up walls or not, the best way to approach dating is to put yourself out there. Yeah you may get hurt again but hopefully you'll realize that happens and yet you still function. Once you get it in your head that, "Oh yeah, I've come back from this crap and been fine." Then dating isn't hard. Just have fun and good things will happen. Worrying about dating or exes will drive you bonkers, having fun and realizing you can recover from relationships that don't work makes all the difference in dating.

[Rylan]

Says the guy that is getting married :pop:

[Pavel Bure]

Says the guy that is getting married :pop:

Says the guy that is married. I went through what they did though and that's the best approach. You're the same whether a girl is in your hip or not.

[Rylan]

Oh congratulations PB. Just busting chops.

[ExPatriatePen]

AXS is showing Chris Issac and Stevie Nicks. Seriously? As if Christmas isn't depressing enough... LoL

[bhaw]

Don't want to see rings or kids? Unfriend them. Seriously. If that makes you depressed and ruins your day or even just an hour or 15 minutes, get rid of it. What do you gain out of being friends with the person at this point?

For the others... if all your friends are married/engaged/in a relationship, find somewhere to make new friends. One of my friends here went through the same thing for about 4 years after he moved down to AZ. He spent a majority of his time with me and our other friend. I was engaged and married the whole time and our other friend was in 2 long term relationships. He was miserable because he spent all his time with us. When I moved away to edmonton and our other friend got engaged, he finally started making new friends. He was forced to. He still isn't in any kind of relationship, but he's happier and has more to do than hang out with us and complain about his love life.

If you think it's you, it is. You have to change it. Stop talking about changing it and just do it. Stop talking about going out and meeting someone and go meet someone... anyone. It doesn't have to be the person you marry or get into another 3 or 6 or 10 year relationship with. Not to be harsh, but I'm going to be, stop whining about it and either do it or realize you have no interest in getting back out there BUT stop wondering why you don't have anyone. You don't have anyone because you haven't tried... legitimately tried. Stop asking your friends to set you up.

End rant... but the sooner you stop talking about it and start changing the things that upset you, the sooner you will be happier. Stop putting yourself in crappy situations (being friends with someone on FB who you know it will hurt if you see them get engaged/have kids/be happy). That's your own damn fault.

[Bioshock]

Bioshock and other pity party wonder kids. You were in a long term relationship now you're not. I'm pretty sure you still wake up daily, you still function, you still have friends. Whether you have a g/f or not, whether you're over them or not, whether you're putting up walls or not, the best way to approach dating is to put yourself out there. Yeah you may get hurt again but hopefully you'll realize that happens and yet you still function. Once you get it in your head that, "Oh yeah, I've come back from this crap and been fine." Then dating isn't hard. Just have fun and good things will happen. Worrying about dating or exes will drive you bonkers, having fun and realizing you can recover from relationships that don't work makes all the difference in dating.

Oh, without a doubt! I have been out there though and i don't get anything in terms of interest. I have never had confidence issues with meeting people. It's just really terrifying to show interest in terms of dating if that makes any sense. Women wanna be my friend, not my girlfriend. I have asked probably 6 women out to dinner in the past 18 months and get turned down every time. Feels bad man.

But, i will keep trying. It just sucks because i felt love once and i would do anything to feel that again. But at the same time i feel blessed to have at least felt it once in my life.

[Pavel Bure]

Those women. When you meet them and talk, kiss them.

[Rylan]

Confidence. You have to command the presence that if a woman isn't with you she is losing. You probably have a hitch in your speech, awkward pauses, or just bad timing when asking these women. Don't worry about no's. Hell, perhaps every single one of those chicks would have said no even if you were more commanding. But you can't take the no's to heart. You can't take the friend-zoning to heart. You control everything, not the world. If you expect no, you get no. If you expect yes, you will have a higher likely-hood of receiving yes.

6 over 18 mo. is too few. A girl a month. Hell, to get back in the game I would recommend a girl a week. 1 a month will say yes. So probably on average around 3 dates a month over the next year.

Obviously if you have a girl you have gone out with a few times I would not recommend asking any others out to dinner either. That's how name-calling happens.

[Godric]

So what's the view on girls that are related to you through marriage? It would be my 4th cousin's stepmom's niece..... (paging sarcastic) she is older than me by 3 years and is finishing school in Iowa but is home for winter break and we met at a Christmas party? Probably one of the most attractive girls I've talked to in my life and that's saying something

We exchanged numbers and going to go to my buddies New year party

[ulf]

I mean I wouldn't tell anybody I was related to her :lol:

[steelhammer]

So what's the view on girls that are related to you through marriage? It would be my 4th cousin's stepmom's niece..... (paging arcastic) she is older than me by 3 years and is finishing school in Iowa but is home for winter break and we met at a Christmas party? Probably one of the most attractive girls I've talked to in my life and that's saying something

We exchanged numbers and going to go to my buddies New year party

In most other countries you could date a 1st cousin and no one would think twice. Dating a 4th cousin who isn't even genetically related to you is totally fine.

[ExPatriatePen]

So what's the view on girls that are related to you through marriage? It would be my 4th cousin's stepmom's niece..... (paging arcastic) she is older than me by 3 years and is finishing school in Iowa but is home for winter break and we met at a Christmas party? Probably one of the most attractive girls I've talked to in my life and that's saying something

We exchanged numbers and going to go to my buddies New year party

In most other countries you could date a 1st cousin and no one would think twice. Dating a 4th cousin who isn't even genetically related to you is totally fine.

{in b4 WV joke}

[no name]

Bioshock and other pity party wonder kids. You were in a long term relationship now you're not. I'm pretty sure you still wake up daily, you still function, you still have friends. Whether you have a g/f or not, whether you're over them or not, whether you're putting up walls or not, the best way to approach dating is to put yourself out there. Yeah you may get hurt again but hopefully you'll realize that happens and yet you still function. Once you get it in your head that, "Oh yeah, I've come back from this crap and been fine." Then dating isn't hard. Just have fun and good things will happen. Worrying about dating or exes will drive you bonkers, having fun and realizing you can recover from relationships that don't work makes all the difference in dating.

Oh, without a doubt! I have been out there though and i don't get anything in terms of interest. I have never had confidence issues with meeting people. It's just really terrifying to show interest in terms of dating if that makes any sense. Women wanna be my friend, not my girlfriend. I have asked probably 6 women out to dinner in the past 18 months and get turned down every time. Feels bad man.

But, i will keep trying. It just sucks because i felt love once and i would do anything to feel that again. But at the same time i feel blessed to have at least felt it once in my life.

Can you tell when a woman has intrest in you or are you blind to it? I was like this for the longest time, could never read a woman if she liked me, so i never asked these women out who back then i tought "there is no way she would go out with me" now i can see "wow she was showing intrest in me"

[ExPatriatePen]

She'll lie and steal and cheat, and beg you from her knees
Make you thinks she means it this time
She'll tear a hole in you, the one you can't repair
But I still love her, I don't really care

- Lumineers

[Rylan]

There is such a thing as 4th cousins? At that point you are genetically diverse enough it wouldn't matter. But, personally I don't think I could go through with it lol

[MRandall25]

I thought he said 4th cousin through a stepmother.

There's 0 relation there.

[Rylan]

I thought he said 4th cousin through a stepmother.

There's 0 relation there.

Honestly, wouldn't expect any to start with.

[ExPatriatePen]

I thought he said 4th cousin through a stepmother.

There's 0 relation there.

He did, there's absolutely no blood relation, at least not the way I read it.

Does anyone understand the reason cousins are taboo is inbreeding? There can't be inbreeding if there's no blood.

I actually know a step brother and sister who got married, it sounds eeeewwwww... But if there's no blood... It's no different than an inter-racial marriage.

[Sarcastic]

Read last couple of pages. You know who has the easiest time dating? Guys who sleep around. It's the ones who just don't care who get most dates, most girls. Guys who are able to cut away from their emotions. One of my best friends slept with so many girls, he can't even remember. I see how he talks to girls. I know how he picks them up. He basically sees a good looking girl on the street, hops right over, says a few things, says something funny, smiles, and gets the girl's number. Much of it has to do with attitude. I've seen him strike out a lot too, but he just laughs it off and moves onto another target. It doesn't faze him whatsoever. He'll then date a girl for a while, until he gets bored, and without even thinking twice about her feelings, he's able to cut her loose. Thanks and bye. He was dating this great looking redhead for a while. She really liked him. So did her parents. I met them. Thing is that she had a young kid and I once asked him in private - half serious, half not - if he's going to marry her. Wow. The outrage in his eyes. NO! I asked why. "She has a kid.". So I asked why he's dating her if he knows right away he won't make a serious commitment. He just nonchalantly said why not.. he's having fun and she's having fun. But I know for a fact she really hoped it would be a serious relationship.

I'm telling the story because I see about 3 of you are over-thinking it. I'll be the first to tell you that I don't like how my friend treats women. Not that he ever mistreats them or is rude or anything of that nature. Just the opposite. Women cling to him because he's very cool, outgoing, laughs a whole lot. Just he isn't the relationship kind. But as I was saying, there is also such a thing as too much emotional involvement, especially at the start of a relationship. Maybe a phobia of being rejected is what keeps people single [and it's OK to be single; some people are great single]. That's all in the head. Over-thinking. Over-analyzing. It is as if some people become emotionally affected before they even start dating the person. There is a lesson to be learned from my buddy. Get that stuff out of your mind and throw yourself on the market. Even if it blows up in your face. If it does, laugh it off. It's sometimes not easy being sensitive, yet I feel people like that make the best partners when do they find that someone.

[Sarcastic]

(paging sarcastic)

What am I like the resident perv??

[FreeCandy44]

Guilty conscious?

[Sarcastic]

Guilty conscious?

I believe the word you're looking for is conscience.

[Rylan]

Am I your friend sarcastic? Lol

[Rylan]

Discount double post