Thread of Love 3.0

[Godric]

there's far too much cloak and dagger crap that goes on with dating. i understand approach anxiety and everything, but at it's core, isn't asking someone out basically just one person saying "I like you, and I would like to spend time with you", and the other one either saying yes or no? why is there this constant need to be all secretive, and to build attack plans?

This.

Whats so hard about asking anyone if they want to chill?

"You mean like a date?"

no body asks that **** question outside movies, its either "Yeah for sure" or "No, (insert excuse)"


side note:

I can't wait til I get this stupid cast off

My physique is gonna be wrecked

[count2infinity]

... is that a "self love" joke, Godric?

[Godric]

... is that a "self love" joke, Godric?

uhh no. I was getting at the fact that I can't lift or play sports with a cast on my hand.

[Pavel Bure]

there's far too much cloak and dagger crap that goes on with dating. i understand approach anxiety and everything, but at it's core, isn't asking someone out basically just one person saying "I like you, and I would like to spend time with you", and the other one either saying yes or no? why is there this constant need to be all secretive, and to build attack plans?

This.

Whats so hard about asking anyone if they want to chill?

"You mean like a date?"

no body asks that **** question outside movies, its either "Yeah for sure" or "No, (insert excuse)"


side note:

I can't wait til I get this stupid cast off

My physique is gonna be wrecked

Yeah making big plans to ask someone out is almost never good. Just come out and say it. They either say yes and you get a good make out session after the date (guys make a move, you can be a nice guy and make a move but for the love of God make a move.) or they say no and you move on.

[IrishEyes]

I'll never understand the stigma with "nice guys." I found one, and when we're together, I never open a door, I never pay, and he's truly amazing. And completely "nice."

I'll take a nice guy over the tool any day.

[JS©]

I'm done looking for awhile. Between the last two+ months, it's been nothing but girls who don't know what they want. Either you know or you don't.

[CERV96]

Wow, looks like I started a good convo and missed it. What if you are just a nice guy period? You just can not wake up the next day and say I am going to be someone else today? That just does not happen/work. I have gotten dates and have had relationships by being who I am. I am just on a dry spell right now and need to vent. Isn't that what this thread is for?

[count2infinity]

I'll never understand the stigma with "nice guys." I found one, and when we're together, I never open a door, I never pay, and he's truly amazing. And completely "nice."

I'll take a nice guy over the tool any day.

I guess it's because I've never have had money (at least in large amounts), but I hate this "stigma" of dating. I will admit, the first month or so of dating a girl, I usually would pay for things, but after that I fully expect her to start paying for things. I guess it's a case by case and relationship by relationship basis, but I've never made more money than the girl I was dating, so I would expect her to pay for things sometimes as well.

[Pavel Bure]

I'll never understand the stigma with "nice guys." I found one, and when we're together, I never open a door, I never pay, and he's truly amazing. And completely "nice."

I'll take a nice guy over the tool any day.

I guess it's because I've never have had money (at least in large amounts), but I hate this "stigma" of dating. I will admit, the first month or so of dating a girl, I usually would pay for things, but after that I fully expect her to start paying for things. I guess it's a case by case and relationship by relationship basis, but I've never made more money than the girl I was dating, so I would expect her to pay for things sometimes as well.

Nope I agree with this, I'll pay the first couple dates but after that you better start kicking in or if it's fair go dutch from the start. No reason you should get a free meal/movie/activity from me if we're not going to get along. Then if we like each other I'll pay for some stuff and we'll go dutch others. Also back to the nice guy thing like I said above what I found from people that complain about girls, "Not wanting a nice guy." they usually go on a date, think things are going really well, then don't make a move (a move is kissing her) that part is key because it leaves zero questions about your intentions going out with her and makes it real easy to decide if she wants to continue going out or not. It saves you from being friend zoned.

Disclaimer: In terms of dating I'm talking before I was married.

[Froggy]

Wow, looks like I started a good convo and missed it. What if you are just a nice guy period? You just can not wake up the next day and say I am going to be someone else today? That just does not happen/work. I have gotten dates and have had relationships by being who I am. I am just on a dry spell right now and need to vent. Isn't that what this thread is for?

Still be a nice guy, but also realize that you need to be MORE than a nice guy. You need to be ambitious, or interesting, or funny, or superficially attractive, or rich. A girl isn't going to be attracted to someone just because they are nice, but being nice is appreciated in people they are attracted to.

[Rylan]

Being nice will likely never be a detriment, and if it is then the girl is wrong for you anyways. As Froggy said, you have to separate yourself. Confidence is a step in the right direction. Know who you are and what you are and sell it. If she goes for it then you are in.

In essence, you submit an application, go through an interview process, and then you either are accepted or rejected. Just like everything else in life.

[IrishEyes]

I'll never understand the stigma with "nice guys." I found one, and when we're together, I never open a door, I never pay, and he's truly amazing. And completely "nice."

I'll take a nice guy over the tool any day.

I guess it's because I've never have had money (at least in large amounts), but I hate this "stigma" of dating. I will admit, the first month or so of dating a girl, I usually would pay for things, but after that I fully expect her to start paying for things. I guess it's a case by case and relationship by relationship basis, but I've never made more money than the girl I was dating, so I would expect her to pay for things sometimes as well.

Nope I agree with this, I'll pay the first couple dates but after that you better start kicking in or if it's fair go dutch from the start. No reason you should get a free meal/movie/activity from me if we're not going to get along. Then if we like each other I'll pay for some stuff and we'll go dutch others. Also back to the nice guy thing like I said above what I found from people that complain about girls, "Not wanting a nice guy." they usually go on a date, think things are going really well, then don't make a move (a move is kissing her) that part is key because it leaves zero questions about your intentions going out with her and makes it real easy to decide if she wants to continue going out or not. It saves you from being friend zoned.

Disclaimer: In terms of dating I'm talking before I was married.

See.... I would like to pay for things... he refuses. The few times I have been able to foot the bill it's because I snatched it off the table before he could. And then he pouted.

[Pen48guins]

Had my first date tonight since the split.


She is still sending texts so I'm going with it was a success.

[Froggy]

Nice, dude. Way to get back out there

[Idoit40fans]

I'll never understand the stigma with "nice guys." I found one, and when we're together, I never open a door, I never pay, and he's truly amazing. And completely "nice."

I'll take a nice guy over the tool any day.

I guess it's because I've never have had money (at least in large amounts), but I hate this "stigma" of dating. I will admit, the first month or so of dating a girl, I usually would pay for things, but after that I fully expect her to start paying for things. I guess it's a case by case and relationship by relationship basis, but I've never made more money than the girl I was dating, so I would expect her to pay for things sometimes as well.

Girlfriend makes more money than me most of the time. I pay more often than not, but its relatively even. I'd say if we go out 8 times a month, I pay 5 times. Early on I paid almost all of the time, but it has shifted towards the middle since. I paid for a vacation last month, so for the past several weeks she has paid for everything when we go out...it has been awesome.

[CERV96]

I used to refuse to let a women pay for any type of date(big mistake but you learn from them) but now when they offer I just say OK and not bring it back up. I always walk in expecting to pay but when they offer I accept. No need to fight over stuff like that.

[Pavel Bure]

I used to refuse to let a women pay for any type of date(big mistake but you learn from them) but now when they offer I just say OK and not bring it back up. I always walk in expecting to pay but when they offer I accept. No need to fight over stuff like that.

Yeah, most girls/women these days are aware of not expecting to pay and if the guy does pay in my experience the girls were always quick to leave the tip which was for whatever reason always nice.

[FreeCandy44]

Since nothing good at all has happened in my life lately, it is so time to brag. I won free Soundgarden tickets from Colin Dunlap on 93.7 the fan this morning. I am beyond pumped and I saved myself like 130.00. So now I gotta find me a date for the show. Time to get back into shape and find me a woman. I mean what woman wouldn't be wowed by Soundgarden tickets?

[newarenanow]

When the wife and I were dating, I paid the first few dates, she started saying she would foot a few bills, I'd put up a little resistance to pretend I wanted to pay, and then after a few times of her paying, we just alternated paying for dates.

[newarenanow]

Since nothing good at all has happened in my life lately, it is so time to brag. I won free Soundgarden tickets from Colin Dunlap on 93.7 the fan this morning. I am beyond pumped and I saved myself like 130.00. So now I gotta find me a date for the show. Time to get back into shape and find me a woman. I mean what woman wouldn't be wowed by Soundgarden tickets?

Forget taking a woman, take me. We can pound some beers, start a moshpit and puke on each other.

[MRandall25]

Since nothing good at all has happened in my life lately, it is so time to brag. I won free Soundgarden tickets from Colin Dunlap on 93.7 the fan this morning. I am beyond pumped and I saved myself like 130.00. So now I gotta find me a date for the show. Time to get back into shape and find me a woman. I mean what woman wouldn't be wowed by Soundgarden tickets?

Forget taking a woman, take me. We can pound some beers, start a moshpit and puke on each other.

In some species, that is a sign of love <3

[FreeCandy44]

Since nothing good at all has happened in my life lately, it is so time to brag. I won free Soundgarden tickets from Colin Dunlap on 93.7 the fan this morning. I am beyond pumped and I saved myself like 130.00. So now I gotta find me a date for the show. Time to get back into shape and find me a woman. I mean what woman wouldn't be wowed by Soundgarden tickets?

Forget taking a woman, take me. We can pound some beers, start a moshpit and puke on each other.

Pay for parking and buy me dinner? ;)

[Froggy]

single again... awesome.

Spoiler:

should have ended it weeks ago...so it's actually not a bad thing.

[CERV96]

single again... awesome.

Spoiler:

should have ended it weeks ago...so it's actually not a bad thing.

It happens man. That's why you date. It could have been worse.

[Froggy]

I guess it was the best possible break up scenario. We both cared too much about the other to end it, but neither one of us was really happy with things. She's still one of my favorite people I ever met. We were friends before we dated, and I hope we can still occasionally hang out after.