Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Forum for Pittsburgh Penguins-related messages.

Moderators: Three Stars, dagny, pfim, netwolf

Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby Gaucho on Tue May 14, 2013 10:10 am

Any good ones out there? Just heard this one on twitter: Melnyk had CSI analyse the Apollo landings as he thought it looked like Wisconsin.
Gaucho
NHL Third Liner
NHL Third Liner
 
Posts: 42,787
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 9:22 am
Location: Ignoranti

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby sil on Tue May 14, 2013 10:20 am

Matt Cooke was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.
sil
AHL All-Star
AHL All-Star
 
Posts: 6,119
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 12:05 pm
Location: the Juice Case manufacturing plant

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby sil on Tue May 14, 2013 10:21 am

Matt Cooke has the cure for cancer, but refuses to disclose it in order to make money off medical and prescription drug expenses.
sil
AHL All-Star
AHL All-Star
 
Posts: 6,119
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 12:05 pm
Location: the Juice Case manufacturing plant

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby jwest21 on Tue May 14, 2013 10:27 am

Matt Cooke is in al-Qaeda
jwest21
AHL'er
AHL'er
 
Posts: 4,178
Joined: Thu Sep 14, 2006 11:59 am
Location: on IR

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby DocEmrick on Tue May 14, 2013 10:28 am

A secret cabal controls the NHL, and Matt Cooke is one of the ancient bloodlines.
DocEmrick
NHL Fourth Liner
NHL Fourth Liner
 
Posts: 15,775
Joined: Sat Jan 05, 2008 6:33 pm
Location: 39°6′32″N 76°46′17″W

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby darkstar57 on Tue May 14, 2013 10:33 am

Matt Cooke is really big foot
darkstar57
AHL'er
AHL'er
 
Posts: 3,081
Joined: Wed Jul 02, 2008 2:13 pm
Location: A flute with no holes, is not a flute. A donut with no hole, is a Danish

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby silentom on Tue May 14, 2013 10:34 am

Matt Cooke is an Illuminati.
silentom
Junior 'A'
Junior 'A'
 
Posts: 356
Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2008 12:59 pm
Location: Santabarbaratown

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby sil on Tue May 14, 2013 10:35 am

Matt Cooke was behind and orchestrated all the recent episodes of gun violence in the US to manufacture a public desire to ban automatic weapons.
sil
AHL All-Star
AHL All-Star
 
Posts: 6,119
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 12:05 pm
Location: the Juice Case manufacturing plant

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby AlexPKeaton on Tue May 14, 2013 10:36 am

Matt Cooke is really dead.

Image
AlexPKeaton
NHL Healthy Scratch
NHL Healthy Scratch
 
Posts: 12,720
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 8:46 am
Location: Malkinite Compound

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby CERV96 on Tue May 14, 2013 10:39 am

Matt Cooke convinced George Lucas to sell Star Wars to Disney
CERV96
AHL Hall of Famer
AHL Hall of Famer
 
Posts: 8,667
Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2009 11:49 pm
Location: It's poop again!

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby Idoit40fans on Tue May 14, 2013 10:46 am

:pop: Matt Cooke/Melnyk jokes are low hanging fruit, be better than this.
Idoit40fans
NHL Third Liner
NHL Third Liner
 
Posts: 53,903
Joined: Sat Dec 09, 2006 1:42 pm
Location: I'm sorry you feel that way

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby sil on Tue May 14, 2013 10:47 am

Matt Cooke took the joy out of Idoit40fans.
sil
AHL All-Star
AHL All-Star
 
Posts: 6,119
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 12:05 pm
Location: the Juice Case manufacturing plant

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby tscottw56 on Tue May 14, 2013 10:47 am

Wasn't Matt Cooke in Boston that very day? Hmmmmmm?
tscottw56
Junior 'A'
Junior 'A'
 
Posts: 78
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 2:04 pm
Location: New Orleans

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby Gaucho on Tue May 14, 2013 10:50 am

I was hoping for less Cooke and more Melnyk. pop
Gaucho
NHL Third Liner
NHL Third Liner
 
Posts: 42,787
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 9:22 am
Location: Ignoranti

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby sil on Tue May 14, 2013 10:51 am

Gaucho wrote:I was hoping for less Cooke and more Melnyk. pop


Too bad.
sil
AHL All-Star
AHL All-Star
 
Posts: 6,119
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 12:05 pm
Location: the Juice Case manufacturing plant

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby DocEmrick on Tue May 14, 2013 10:52 am

Gaucho wrote:I was hoping for less Cooke and more Melnyk. pop


Either way, it's all one giant conspiracy and everyone's in on it. Except Melnyk.
DocEmrick
NHL Fourth Liner
NHL Fourth Liner
 
Posts: 15,775
Joined: Sat Jan 05, 2008 6:33 pm
Location: 39°6′32″N 76°46′17″W

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby sil on Tue May 14, 2013 10:55 am

Melnyk just doesn't get any respect I tell ya...

Image

Spoiler:
Image
sil
AHL All-Star
AHL All-Star
 
Posts: 6,119
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 12:05 pm
Location: the Juice Case manufacturing plant

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby pfim on Tue May 14, 2013 11:04 am

sil wrote:Matt Cooke is Idoit40fans.
pfim
NHL Fourth Liner
NHL Fourth Liner
 
Posts: 16,789
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 7:35 am
Location: Sitting in front of my computer

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby Sam's Drunk Dog on Tue May 14, 2013 11:09 am

Melnyk believes that penguins are really aliens in disguise.
Sam's Drunk Dog
NHL Fourth Liner
NHL Fourth Liner
 
Posts: 19,851
Joined: Sat Jan 28, 2006 11:31 am
Location: Behind Enemy Lines

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby sil on Tue May 14, 2013 11:15 am

pfim wrote:
sil wrote:Matt Cooke is Idoit40fans.


I could believe that too.
sil
AHL All-Star
AHL All-Star
 
Posts: 6,119
Joined: Thu Dec 30, 2010 12:05 pm
Location: the Juice Case manufacturing plant

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby Idoit40fans on Tue May 14, 2013 11:21 am

pfim wrote:
sil wrote:Matt Cooke is Idoit40fans.


This chills my heart. Thats a good thing.
Idoit40fans
NHL Third Liner
NHL Third Liner
 
Posts: 53,903
Joined: Sat Dec 09, 2006 1:42 pm
Location: I'm sorry you feel that way

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby Eismann on Tue May 14, 2013 11:37 am

Matt Cooke stole Michael Jackson's other glove and used it to shoot J.R. from the grassy knoll on Easter Island when the Mayan calendar expired.
Eismann
NHL Healthy Scratch
NHL Healthy Scratch
 
Posts: 11,129
Joined: Sun Aug 13, 2006 7:14 am
Location: The tundra of human rights

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby Eismann on Tue May 14, 2013 11:41 am

Melnyk hires forensic scientist to prove that, confirming popular disbelief, it really _is_ butter.
Eismann
NHL Healthy Scratch
NHL Healthy Scratch
 
Posts: 11,129
Joined: Sun Aug 13, 2006 7:14 am
Location: The tundra of human rights

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby Eismann on Tue May 14, 2013 11:46 am

I gotta get Melnyk to hire a forensic scientist to find the real killer.

Respectfully,

Orenthal.
Eismann
NHL Healthy Scratch
NHL Healthy Scratch
 
Posts: 11,129
Joined: Sun Aug 13, 2006 7:14 am
Location: The tundra of human rights

Re: Melnyk Conspiracy Theories

Postby Idoit40fans on Tue May 14, 2013 11:49 am

Eugene Malnyk figured out who killed Rosie Larsen.
Idoit40fans
NHL Third Liner
NHL Third Liner
 
Posts: 53,903
Joined: Sat Dec 09, 2006 1:42 pm
Location: I'm sorry you feel that way

Next

Return to Pittsburgh Penguins

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Daniel, GSdrums87, Hugo Stiglitz, It'sagreatdayforhockey!, jwest21, lemieuxReturns, meow, npv708, Skatingpen, skullman80, SubtropicalPenguin, TPW and 45 guests


e-mail