Wedding Planning Thread

[count2infinity]

... 610 days? holy crap. that's a long time away.

[Letang Is The Truth]

Imagine people's faces when we went 985 days ago

[count2infinity]

over 2 and a half years in advance? Are you guys waiting on someone to graduate or something? Why so far away?

[Letang Is The Truth]

Just wanna make sure ya know?

[count2infinity]

i guess. when I proposed, we had already been living together for 2 years, so that makes a difference i suppose.

[Letang Is The Truth]

We've been dating for 8 years now :popL:

[count2infinity]

oh my... you just want to celebrate the decade mark in style, don't you?

[Fire0nice228]

I think I forgot to tell you guys that after we had to move churches, our rehearsal dinner place called and told us that they were goin to close the restaurant because the owner had a heart attack and the wife couldn't manage it anymore.

ugh. I feel bad but we had to deal with that mess too. lol..

[Letang Is The Truth]

oh my... you just want to celebrate the decade mark in style, don't you?

thats how we roll. i was in grad school before we got engaged and now she started so we are waiting til we are all done to get everything moving. had to wait for engagement so i could afford the ring after school

[pittsoccer33]

what do the ladies think about gemstone engagement rings?

the girl I'm dating mentioned that she thinks an emerald ring would be pretty cool and I was just floored - that is just so neat.

i like to have things that are a bit different than what is normal - things like guitars and cars in odd models and colors. my guitars have mostly been odd shades of blue - not a very stereotypical color. people always comment on things like that because they're unique and not what you see every day.

beyond that, I HATE the conspicuous consumption driven "tradition" of a diamond engagement ring. it wasn't a tradition 100 years ago. queen victoria (who seems to have single handily started half the traditions of the west) got her birthstone - an emerald. if a stone engagement ring was given at all it was a birthstone.

it isn't so much about money though I do think the "2 months salary" idiom is kind of funny now that it isn't two months of his (singular) salary it is two months of his salary removed from the household budget. its not him sacrificing thousands of dollars, its the household income sacrificing. thats money that could be spent paying bills, buying a home, or saving for retirement.

so what say you? if the guy of your dreams bought you a gemstone ring in your favorite cut and color would you throw it in his face?

[count2infinity]

I got my girl a moissanite stone. For $600 I got a rock that is the size of a $4000 diamond and is almost as hard (diamond is a 10 on the Mohs scale, moissanite is a 9.5) and actually is more brilliant (higher refractive index, i.e. more sparkly) and more fire (breaks up the light better due to the higher dispersion). The color is slightly, slightly, slightly yellow (on the range of an H colored diamond) but when it's in brighter light you can't tell and it looks amazing in direct sunlight. Go with something other than diamond if you can. Way more bling for the buck.

[pittsoccer33]

I got my girl a moissanite stone.

Does she know that?

[count2infinity]

I got my girl a moissanite stone.

Does she know that?

she does, and loves it. I told her straight up when I gave her the ring that I couldn't afford a diamond that big, but when I get a "big kid" job I would replace the moissanite with a diamond if she wanted it, she said she's put hers next to diamond rings and 1st she likes the look of moissanite better, and she likes the fact that the material was discovered in a meteorite and isn't found naturally on Earth, but can be man made.

[Letang Is The Truth]

i think each person is different and it is important to understand what she wants by asking (either directly or indirectly). it is only fair as it is something she will be wearing her whole life. we actually went shopping together and identified the ring we liked the best. it may not have been a 'surprise' but she did not know when i bought it or how it was coming, but the fact of the matter is is that if you are at the juncture where you are thinking about it, she has been at that juncture for A LONG time before you so shes expecting it.

anyways, we went with a diamond ring from a nationally respected jeweler. even though it may be more expensive than your maw and paw shop, the quality and craftsmanship is significantly more impressive. we know a number of people that have their rings for the same period of time and have had stones loosen/fall out and have had to have it re-designed and re-fitted. the unfortunate thing when this occurs, if you go to a different jeweler for repairs if you are unimpressed with the first jeweler, that oftentimes voids any service jeweler 1 would be obligated to offer you; hence, perpetuating a series of second handed craftsmanship. the amount of money that i paid could have probably bought a stone 100-250% larger at a smaller shop, but this has been far surpassed in terms of quality and service we have received. i have not regretted the choice at all and she receives compliments on it at pretty much every place we go and that makes her happy which is awesome.

like you mentioned above, there are definitely budgetary constraints, but i was fortunate to be in a position where i could (and had saved) save for a fair amount of time to recoup any additional cost.

[count2infinity]

by the way, I very indirectly asked her if she'd be okay with a different stone than diamond. She was very much okay without the diamond and said she would almost prefer something other than diamond. good call on the individual aspect litt.

[shmenguin]

my advice...find out what metal she wants in the band, what shape of stone she likes (and what kind of stone if no diamond) and what general style of band she likes. take it from there.

[Letang Is The Truth]

my advice? dont do it.

/epp

[skullman80]

I got my girl a moissanite stone. For $600 I got a rock that is the size of a $4000 diamond and is almost as hard (diamond is a 10 on the Mohs scale, moissanite is a 9.5) and actually is more brilliant (higher refractive index, i.e. more sparkly) and more fire (breaks up the light better due to the higher dispersion). The color is slightly, slightly, slightly yellow (on the range of an H colored diamond) but when it's in brighter light you can't tell and it looks amazing in direct sunlight. Go with something other than diamond if you can. Way more bling for the buck.

I did the same. My now wife(then fiance) was totally cool with it and she loves it. Can't tell the difference unless you really examine it as far as it not being a diamond. There was no way I was spending 4k on a ring. Just wasn't doing it. Thankfully my wife was cool with it. I wouldn't have married her if she wasn't.

[OutofFoil]

If you want diamonds, I've got a guy... The company I work for bought a division of GE that happens to make diamonds. Recently, they've figured out how to make flawless stones in either perfectly colorless or whatever color you'd like. Indistinguishable from stones dug out of the ground (proved it with the jeweler who set my wife's stone, and the GIA certificate that came with it). Since I work for this division, I can get a price about 50% of what Blue Nile would charge for a similar stone. I can do this a few times a year. Example: A .77 carat, D color, IF clarity, excellent radiant (modified square brilliant) cut stone for about $3k.

[count2infinity]

Do the stones have any phosphorescence? From what I've seen, most man made diamonds (my lab works with them quite a bit) will show phosphorescence when exposed to UV lasers, mostly due to trace amounts of catalyst impurities in the diamonds from the synthesis.

[canaan]

i know some of those words!

[OutofFoil]

Do the stones have any phosphorescence? From what I've seen, most man made diamonds (my lab works with them quite a bit) will show phosphorescence when exposed to UV lasers, mostly due to trace amounts of catalyst impurities in the diamonds from the synthesis.

Usually it's the nitrogen impurities that show up, but many that we produce exhibit no phosphorescence, and it's noted on the GIA cert as having none. Our process actually starts with "natural" diamonds, but uses a specific type of stone called type IIa diamonds. We then put the stones in a freakin' huge press that mimics the conditions in the mantle where diamonds are formed, think giga pascals of pressure! With a bit of doping, colored stones can be produced. The process "corrects" the crystal lattice to make the stones colorless and also drives out impurities and makes the stone VVS or better. Really cool process and DeBeers hates us.

[count2infinity]

So you don't actually synthesize any diamonds. You take diamonds that are already existing with nitrogen in them (so likely yellowish or brown in color) apply pressure and get rid of the impurities and then have the colorless diamond left? GPa of pressures sounds about right, most diamond anvil cells can get up to 50 GPa no problem.

[Letang Is The Truth]

nerd alert

[count2infinity]

lol... apologies. I enjoy the simplicity of the structure of a diamond and the over value (imo) of the stones themselves. It's interesting to hear about these things.