[The scene opens in the large conference center located inside the David L. Lawrence Convention Center in downtown Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania--the city home of the world's newest Wrestling Federation--The LetsGoPens Wrestling Federation™]
[A svelt, serious man walks up to a regal podium adorned with crystals and gems. This man, a sexier Brad Pitt mixed with a sexier Matt Damon, is none other than the LGPWF commissioner/CEO/Boss simply known as Canaan. He taps on the microphone and the press/photographs quiet to a hush. He is a man that commands attention]
Canaan: Hello and Welcome to the inaugural State of the Federation Address® of the LGPWF™. We are here to let the world know that we are tired of the watered down, primadonna, t-shirts = titles mentality that has become professional wrestling. We have arrived to lead the way. We are the wrestling federation that you may not necessarily deserve, but you most assuredly need. We have a small stable of wrestlers that will grow over the next couple of weeks and will bring about a new regime in the sport. A new face to shine the light in the darkness of Cenaisms and Vincent K. McMahonnites.
Over the course of the next couple of days, you will be introduced to our stable of wrestlers as I will be announcing today, in front of the world, our weekly event tentatively known as
[The room goes dark and an image begins to glow on the ceiling]
Canaan: This is the new regime. This is Monday Night Showdown.
[The lights return and Canaan stands there most assuredly of the impending congratulations that are to come]
Canaan: To the most important aspect of our State of the Federation Address® of the LGPWF™, The talent. I have gathe...
[The Room goes dark again. a deafening squeal shoots through the PA and video plays on the back wall of the conference room]
[youtube][/youtube]
[The lights return and Canaan is visibly upset]
Canaan: I TOLD HIM HE WASNT ALLOWED HERE. SECURITY GET ME OUT OF HERE!
[Canaan storms off with his henchmen quickly leading the way]
**There are many questions to be answered. What was that video? When will the roster be announced? When will the first Monday Night Showdown be? We will find out from the commissioner, hopefully, as soon as he is done wetting his pants**
